Chris Jackson Coaching

How to become your true authentic self almost instantly

Good evening everyone. Welcome to Transformation Tuesday. Greetings from beautiful Tasmania. You can\’t see much of Tasmania because I\’m here at my childhood house coming to you live from Hobart, that for those of you that are tuning in this is my hometown, this is a hometown broadcast, so look forward to sharing with you tonight some really powerful concepts from the world of understanding more about ourself, understanding more about the masks that we wear, the inauthenticities that we present to the world, and the concept that I like to call the mask that we wear. Where at some point in our life we sort of stopped being the innocent authentic children that we once grew up as, and we somehow start playing a different role in life. Hey Maddy, how you doin\’ here Britta? And so I\’m going to talk a bit about that tonight. I\’m going to be talk about not only understanding some of the masks that we wear, some of the different aspects that go into that, but also how to then step out of that. How do we become and how do we embrace a different way of being? And some practical tools, some practical suggestions on how do we physically break out of the mould of the conditioning of maybe putting on a version or a mask, putting on a front, being a version of ourselves that\’s been there to achieve acceptance, or love, or worthiness, and that\’s artificial to an extent. So I\’m going to share some concepts and some really practical tools in order to do that. Hey Vasso, good to see you there. So, welcome again, from Hobart, I just want to wait for a few of you guys to jump on, I\’m just going to pop on a tune for you guys at the moment. This is my favourite artist for the week, this is Soul Rising again. So I thought I\’d just chuck on a bit of a quick tune for any of you guys to jump on. Hey Mike, hey Monica, good to see you guys there. So this is Soul Rising. I been listening to this album like nonstop for the last week and it\’s just such a beautiful album. So for those of you guys that want to check it out, Soul Rising, this track\’s called Open Your Heart. That\’s what we\’re going to be doing tonight is opening your hearts. Hey Shemaine, good to see you. All right, there we go. Hey Mike, how are you mate? Good to see you guys. Well, welcome back to Transformation Tuesday. And as I said, as I said in the intro for those of you that have jumped on tonight, is really about tapping into how do we put down the mask, how do we start to recognise, maybe where we\’re being a little bit inauthentic. Maybe where we\’re not being the full authentic expression of our true self. And starting to understand well what does that even mean, where are the parts of ourselves where we\’re maybe shutting parts of ourself down, maybe where we\’re, we feel like it\’s not okay to be a certain way. And good to hear Mike, of course you\’re delicious. And what I\’m going to help you understand is what are the components of ourselves that we shut down and there are some very, very powerful parts of ourselves that we get trained, or we get taught, or conditioned, from a very, very young age to shut down. We get taught be very well-meaning parents, or very well-meaning people in the community that that way of being is not acceptable. And as a result of that, what happens is we end up wearing a mask. We end up feeling like we need to be someone that we\’re not, which causes you to have a lot of pressure through life, if we feel like we need to be someone that we\’re not, then that has, it can have some fairly devastating consequences, and I\’m going to share some examples in my life about how that\’s happened for me, as well as the clients that I work with and through that exploration, I\’m going to share with you how you can also step out into the world being a more of the, more authentic version of you and shine your light to the world in celebration of your authenticity. So I\’m going to dive straight into it and I first of all just wanted to, first of all wanted to share a bit more about the concept of the masks that we wear in life. Now what do I mean by masks? Well, there are various parts of ourself where at some point in our life we decide that the world doesn\’t want to see that part of us, now that might be an expression of our emotion, that might be our playfulness, it could be an expression of intimacy. And as we go through, I\’m just going to give you some examples \’cause I think one of the best examples is children. When we see children in their natural environment, and I\’ve had the pleasure of spending some time today with my nieces and my nephew today, and when they\’re in their natural habitat, when they\’re playing, when they\’re just being themselves, they\’re not in their heads, they\’re not worried about what other people are thinking about them, they\’re just being. And I think a beautiful example of this today is I was playing with my cousin Jacob and we\’re about to play trains and I said to him as we\’re about trains, and I said to Jacob, Jacob, just kind of expanding his thinking and interacting with him, I said, what are we doing here buddy? What\’s the objective? What\’s the outcome of this game that we\’re about to play? And he so eloquently and so beautifully put me in my place when he said, we\’re just playing. He\’s five years old and he just said, yeah, we\’re just playing. We\’re just playing, there\’s no outcome. Like he didn\’t even need to say it, we\’re just playing. Like just a one-liner, we\’re just being present, we\’re just playing. And here\’s me getting all philosophical about, what are we doing, what\’s the outcome, like let\’s figure this out. And he\’s like, no we\’re just playing. Five year old kid, there you go. Wisdom, wisdom in the words of a five year old kid. We\’re just playing, we\’re just being present. We\’re just experiencing life and we\’re just being present in the moment and seeing whatever unfold. So wise wisdom from a five year old kid. So we can learn a lot from children. And hey Josh, hey Jake, good to see you here. So there\’s a lot of things we can learn from kids and I\’m going to be sharing plenty of examples from children because there\’s so much wisdom, there\’s so much authentic, and beauty, and radiance in what children are and how they express themselves and at some point, as children we get trained, we get taught, we can get conditioned into shutting down aspects of ourself. So then we start playing particular roles, we start pretending like we\’ve got to be a certain person, be a certain way in the world. We\’ve got to be, for me, I felt like I needed to be the smartest kid in the class. That was me, I felt like in order for me to be loved, and for me to be good enough, I had to be the one that got straight A\’s in class. So I spent my whole life being an achiever and a striver. There you go, that was my conditioning, if you like. Other people it might be the opposite, other people might feel like if they, maybe if they get D\’s, maybe if they\’re the rebel, maybe if they\’re the ones, are the ones that always continually are the ones that are causing trouble. Maybe that\’s how they get attention. Maybe that\’s how they get recognition. So, we\’re all doing it. We\’ve all been doing it since a very, very early age. And we\’ve all been conditioned into putting on a mask which is essentially hiding, covering up, masking a part of ourselves which at some point, we got trained or taught was not an acceptable way, or not accepted way of being, to present to the world. So, I\’m just going to cover some of these ways, ways of being that I think for some of us have been lost. Some aspects, some ways of being that somehow we\’ve been conditioned into shutting that part of ourselves down, so I\’m going to dive into giving some examples and some practical ways about how to re-establish that, how do we step into regaining our power? How do we re-embrace, if that\’s a word, it is now, how do we re-embrace being our most authentic expression? So, a good example of this is authenticity. Now when I say authenticity, I\’m talking about speaking on truth. I\’m talking about speaking from a place of being transparent, open, honest about what we truly think. And a beautiful example of this is my little niece. She just said to a complete stranger the other day, she said to him, I think he was, he must have been a little bit older, this was a story that got recounted to me, but she said to an older gentleman, she said, did you know that you\’re dying? She said, do you know that you\’re dying? And from her perspective, you know, she\’s three years old, so she looks at someone who\’s old and she\’s goes, geez they\’re nearly dead. Now, that\’s just her being completely authentic. Her just perspective of life is saying, look, you\’ve got, you haven\’t got as many years to go as I\’ve got. And again, there a beauty in that. Again, you could look at that a number of different ways. You could say, well, that\’s offensive, that\’s horrible, or you could say look, that\’s kind of accurate. It kind of is accurate, we are all dying. Every single one of us from the moment we are born, we\’re actually, we\’re dying, we\’re on a journey that\’s going to end at some point. So, and I\’ll just touch on that, even the word dying, whether you use the word dying, or if you use the word completion, it\’s got a different energy about it. So, anyway, I encourage you to use the word completion, when your life completes, as opposed to when your life, when you die or when it ends. \’Cause completion has got much more of a, I just like the energy behind it, again, it\’s only a word, but words are everything. Words are completely loaded with meaning. Anyway, so Amelia, my little three year old niece, she says, and she also says things like, you know she points out if someone\’s a little bit overweight. She says, you\’re fat, right. Now, it doesn\’t have any malice, it doesn\’t have any ill-intention, it doesn\’t have any necessarily ego, or maliciousness behind it. It\’s just an observation that someone is bigger than someone else. So, again, it\’s a reminder of children they speak their mind, they\’re just like, I\’m just going to share this from the place of just being authentic, so again, not to necessarily say we go around calling people fat, what my message is is more around us recognising where we can be more authentic, where we can share our truth. Where we may be holding our truth back because of the opinions of someone else. Maybe we don\’t want to share our opinion because we\’re going to get judged. Maybe we don\’t want to share our truth, or what our perspective is, or what our aspirations for our life are, because maybe someone\’s going to shut us down. Or someone\’s going to laugh at us. Or maybe, maybe, someone\’s going to watch us not succeed and therefore, they\’re going to judge us. So again, these are some areas where I\’m going to suggest we\’ve all got some work to do. Certainly, speaking your truth. And I\’m going to encourage you, one of the practical ways you can get into the habit of speaking your truth would be practising a concept called radical honesty, radical transparency which is we can and I recommend doing this with a close friend and I have the opportunity of doing this on a regular basis, on a weekly men\’s circle that I\’m part of and we\’re all practising radical honesty every single week. So speak your mind, start getting into the practise of speaking your truth. Actually share from the heart what\’s actually true for you. Now, what\’s true for you, who knows, maybe it\’s not actually true. But either way when you share your truth, you\’ll get put in your place. You will either get evidence or you\’ll get challenged, or you\’ll actually get validated on what that perspective is. So in a very, very healthy way, it will help either validate, or challenge, or dismantle your truth which I think is a very, very healthy thing to be put through. So have honest, open, transparent conversations and check in and ask yourself how honest are you being on a daily basis, how transparent, how open are you being with your friendships. Are you actually sharing the opinions and the perspectives that you\’ve got that might empower someone. Yes, you might run the risk of them maybe not necessarily liking what you\’ve got to share, but you\’ll never know unless you actually share it. And who knows, they might actually love what you\’ve got to say anyway, so I would say, urge on the side of more transparency and honesty rather dishonesty. So I would suggest that a more noble pursuit in life is the pursuit for truth, is for the transparency rather than making someone else feel good which I would say is more of an ego, an ego objective is to make someone else feel good, as opposed to share a truth with someone because it\’s true, it\’s going to empower someone, so generally, the truth, as the cliche goes, the truth will set you free. So, lean into it and evaluate yourself on how open, how transparent, how honest are you on a daily basis. How much of what you communicate is based out of transparency, and openness, and honesty, and how much is based out of wanting to look good, or wanting to say the right thing to make someone else feel good so that they like you. So, and bear in mind, the tribe that you are eventually meant to spend your time with I\’ve got a feeling that if you want to empower yourself and surround yourself with high quality, calibre human beings and individuals, they are going to appreciate more of the truth than not truth, so try it on. Test it out, don\’t just take my word for it, experiment with it, push the boundaries. The next ailment that I\’m going to share with you is curiosity. Now, curiosity really is a sense of being willing to go into something and explore it. And have the, it\’s almost like having, surrendering, not necessarily knowing what the hell we\’re even going to experience. Letting go of the need to know. And it\’s really about having a degree of courage to be vulnerable to enter a space where we don\’t necessarily know what going to happen or what\’s enfolding, so I would say embracing curiosity is very, very powerful. And it\’s the ultimate learning state. So, if you are entering a space totally curious, then you are going to learn so much more because you are going to surrender the need to already know what the person\’s saying or what they\’re sharing with you. Hey, Dignarus, good to see you there. So I would suggest, whenever you\’re watching your Facebook live, whenever you\’re reading a book, whenever you\’re into entering any, any, actually probably try this on any experience in general, for that matter. If you have a state of curiosity, which is to embrace that state to the highest degree, is you\’ve got to have the courage to be vulnerable. To acknowledge hey, I don\’t have it all together. I don\’t know all the answers. And I think that\’s actually a beautiful state to be in. Because let\’s face it, there\’s an infinite amount of vast infinite amount of knowledge and wisdom to be absorbed and to master in this life, to think that we\’ve got it all together, that would take us out of being empowered to learn more. So I would suggest a way to do that is to actually surrender to a process and go, you know what, I don\’t know it all, great, I\’m excited, I\’m curious to learn more. Hey, Dignarus, thank you, big hug, big love to you too. So, get more curious. Get more, be okay with not knowing everything. Be okay with not knowing everything. That\’s the beautiful way to be, surrender. I certainly don\’t know everything. I don\’t know everything on human behaviour, and high performance, I surrendered that long ago. I\’m on a lifelong journey. I\’m just sharing the best of what I\’ve got at this moment in time. And then tomorrow I\’ll know more. And then tomorrow I\’ll know even more, and we\’re just constantly evolving and building our skill, knowledge, and experience. And that\’s life. You keep expanding and keep growing. And I would encourage anyone here who\’s in a position of either in a business, career, as a parent, teacher, whatever you are, embrace that you don\’t know everything, but you\’re sharing and you\’re empowering people from the best way that you know how, with the information, knowledge, skill, and experience that you\’ve got at this moment in time. And that\’s all you can do. You\’re doing the best that you can with the resources, and knowledge, skill that you\’ve got. Celebrate that, acknowledge that. Don\’t have any attachment to necessarily needing to have it all together and this is the other thing is someone could put a comment here on Facebook right now and say Chris, have you thought about this? And I go, you know what, you\’re right. That\’s a better perspective, I\’m going to take that on board. So I have no attachment to what\’s necessarily, I have no attachment to self-righteousness in this process, my life is a journey of constant and never-ending evolvement, thanks Luke, thanks for the love brother. My life, and I would suggest, a very noble pursuit, is everyone\’s life is simply in the search of upgrading our truth and upgrading our skill, knowledge and experience, one moment at a time, and the next day we\’re going to have more knowledge, and wisdom than the day before. And we\’re constantly evolving that. So, if you look back at my Facebook lives from maybe a month or maybe a year ago, who knows, the stuff that I\’ve shared is probably, might look back at it now, and it\’s invalid, or it\’s not accurate, or it\’s not the highest truth that I now subscribe to. So I\’m okay with that. I\’ve been growing at such a rapid rate that will probably continue to happen and I reckon that\’s a pretty good attitude for most people to have. So, curiosity, embrace it. Playfulness, I think playfulness is another one of these amazing attributes that somewhere along the line, sometimes in life we can get a little bit too serious, and I\’m certainly guilty of that, I\’m certainly sometimes seeing life like way too much of a challenge and way too much of this thing to be conquered. That sometimes we lose track of the fundamentals of look, we can see life as a game. Like, this is the ultimate game, play. And as my little cousin Jacob today said when I was playing with the trains with him, I asked him what\’s the outcome, and he just said, we\’re just playing. So, see life as a game. See life as the ultimate expression of just begin playful. Now, again, how do we balance, pursuing living our best life ever and also being light, well I think we can do both. I think we can still be serious about wanting to create an impact, wanting to be serious to a degree, and when I say serious, I mean, committed, I mean committed to our expansion. We can still be committed to our expansion and play the game, play it with a sense of lightness. So, again, this is the little attributes there where we can really push beyond this on a daily basis, things like celebrating our day. This is really things like playing with kids, like for me, I\’ve just been playing with my nieces and nephew the whole day. And it\’s been great, because I\’m just playing with them. We\’re literally running around I\’m squirting with a water pistol and they\’re throwing stuff at me. And it\’s beautiful because it\’s a great reminder for me of just what it used to be like when you\’re a kid with not a care in the world, just being present. So I would say definitely things like playing with kids brings us back to our true nature which is to embrace the game that life is. And I think it\’s a beautiful thing. I\’m yet to have kids yet, I\’m get to be a father, but I envisage and I expect that when I become a father one day, if I\’m fortunate enough to be a father, I will regain a sense of, an additional sense of playfulness that I maybe have let go of. So, really looking forward to that. Certainly some practical exercises and ways of re-embracing playfulness, is actually putting yourself out there in playful experiences, like for example, things like, for me I go to Burning Man every year, I go to Burning Man and it\’s seven days out in the desert of play, of fun, of just being a kid again, and that\’s for me, that\’s reconditioning and retraining myself into being this fun, playful version of me that I know at my core I truly am. So, spending seven days dressed in crazy costumes, running around the desert, dancing, and just being fully self-expressed, that\’s one of my ways, one of my strategies of bringing back more playfulness into my life. And then I think it\’s beautiful. Same thing as like ecstatic dancing, for those of you that haven\’t done ecstatic dancing before, I\’d highly recommend it. It\’s, for those that don\’t know what ecstatic dancing is, it\’s in a very safe space, it\’s in a very, it\’s in a very, I would say, very safe and expansive, very open environment where you can listen to amazing music and just completely let yourself go, completely just move your body in whatever way you like. Moving your body, there\’s people like spinning on the floor, there\’s people making animal noises, very tribal experience, it\’s just amazing \’cause you just let yourself go completely. And it\’s complete freedom and self-expression. And this is a beautiful way to be, sort remind ourselves of, if we have any limitation in our self-expression, we\’ve got some work to do. We\’ve got some things to push beyond. So, for me, when I do ecstatic dancing, I\’ve got it to the point now where I can push myself, I can dance in public now, I can do anything, and I\’ve moved beyond a lot of my limitations of worrying about the judgement of others. Because again, judgement of others is simply placing some, we\’re hallucinating that the opinion of someone else, or someone else\’s imagination, or someone else\’s thought has anything to do with us. Imagining that anyone\’s thought has anything to do with our worthiness at all, so this is a really powerful concept to push beyond. Hey Monica, you got a few friends that are pretty honest about things and it really makes sense, your values, I can\’t see the end of your comment again, but thank you for your comment Monica. I\’m going to have to get my, I\’m going to have to get my Facebook live sort of with a big monitor of comments there, I\’ll eventually get it sorted, thanks for your comment Monica. Where did I get up to? Yeah, I think I\’m going to go on to the next one here which is compassion. Now I think the thing about compassion here is it\’s really, I describe compassion as understanding mixed with love. So it\’s those two things blended together. And a child just naturally, a child can just generally, naturally, give someone the benefit of that, it\’s giving someone the benefit of the doubt. It\’s, if you\’re on a knife edge between are you going to judge someone or love them? It\’s I\’m going to choose to love them. So again, it\’s choosing to have more and more compassion for people in your environment. Now, I\’m going to suggest that over Christmastime, if some of you guys are like me and you\’re spending a lot of time with your family, sometimes it can be challenging. When you\’re in close confines and when you spent, tell me if you guys agree, again, in your comments, if I\’m just me, or whether you guys can relate, or whether it\’s just me. But sometimes when you\’re surrounded by family which is people that you\’ve grown up with, sometimes there can be deeper challenges, deeper, yeah, let\’s just say deeper challenges that you experience because you\’re in the presence, in close confines, so that can be an experience where you\’re forced to take a look at yourself, and you\’re forced to have compassion because if you don\’t have compassion for yourself, for your family, for some of those relationships that we experience during this Christmas period, then sometimes it can cause a lot of suffering. So we need to have a lot of compassion, we need to have a lot of love. We need to give people the benefit of the doubt. And have a degree of understanding for why people do what they do. And this is the thing life is going to keep flashing up these learning experiences. Life is like a big mirror, and life is going to reflect back at us, all those experiences for us to evolve and expand beyond those. Now, until we expand and move beyond them, those experiences are going to keep happening. Sadness, anger, frustration, resentment, all those types of negative emotions, they will keep occurring until we learn the lesson that life has been helping us learn all these years. So that\’s compassion. Enthusiasm and excitement. Tell me if you can resonate with this one. Enthusiasm and excitement, you look, I look at my little nieces and nephew, and they, from the moment they wake up, to the moment, generally to the moment they go to sleep, sometimes they have a meltdown, but from the moment they wake up, they are just buzzing with energy. They\’re just like, oh my God, I\’ve got another day, woo, I can\’t, they\’re literally, I\’m awake, I\’m alive, let\’s go, let\’s play. So this is a natural trait that as human beings, I think it\’s part of our true nature. Is to be enthusiastic, is to be excited to celebrate life and then at some point, either life becomes so boring, or monotonous, or we don\’t have enough spice, or we don\’t have enough purpose, or we don\’t have enough vitality, or energy, at some point along the line, we just kind of go, oh another day, whatever. So again, I think it comes back to really making a conscious effort to celebrate our life. To celebrate every single day when you wake up, to celebrate and this comes back to gratitude, appreciation, looking forward to the day, and just cherishing each of those little moments, again, it comes back to gratitude. You\’ll find that when we embrace and see more of our experiences of life through the lens of gratitude and through the lens of that life is so incredibly finite and precious, that enables us to have a greater perspective around life that it really is a celebration. It\’s a gift and there\’s so many amazing things that are out there waiting for us, like this is, I like to think that we live in heaven on Earth. This is like, this reality is Disneyland. We have never lived in a better time in the history of humanity than the year 2018, nearly 2019. Where you look at technology, you look at innovation, you look at all the opportunities we could ever hope for. You look at health care, you look at technology, it\’s mind-blowing, virtual reality, the fact that I can talk to you guys now on a, I\’m literally broadcasting from Tasmania. I was literally, yesterday I was in Perth. This is phenomenal, this is amazing. So again, it\’s celebrating all those little factors, all these facets of just re-embracing the beauty that we exist in in this life, it\’s amazing. Hey Monica, thank you. Hey Theresa, good to see you here. Your husband is like a child, he\’s never grown up, I love it, I love it. Here\’s to celebrating the child-like behaviour that we get to exhibit. I\’m looking forward to catching up with you Theresa. Are you in Tasi? Let us know if you\’re in Tasi, or whether you\’re back in Perth. So, yeah, so how do we stimulate being more enthusiastic and excited? Well, you know the feeling that you used to have on Christmas Eve when you used to look forward to going to bed and then waking up and there\’s all these presents waiting under the tree, well you can recreate that every single day when you go to sleep. You can recreate that feeling and it\’s an inside job. It\’s totally your construction. It\’s totally your mindset, it\’s the way that you think about your world, it\’s how you perceive and the perspective you take on for your life. You can get totally excited about your life and again, it\’s a combination of gratitude, it\’s a combination of creating your vision for your future, it\’s a combination of imagining amazing, exciting things in your life. So, it\’s using your imagination to re-cultivate and re-appreciate everything that\’s already around you. It\’s a really powerful, I\’d say it\’s a really powerful game to play is imagine, imagine that tomorrow or today is going to be the last day that you get to live. Now imagine, how would you approach your day if that was the last day? Now I know it\’s kind of cliche, a lot of people would say, you can\’t live your life like everyday was your last. Well, try it out, try the energy on of, you know what, if this was the last day I got to live, what would I be doing differently? How would I approach and what would my perspective be, how would my perspective be different? And this is just mind hacks, these are like hacks you can change, you can dramatically shift your consciousness through applying these perspectives. So, you don\’t have to believe in any of these perspectives for them to be useful. So kind of like you use an app on your phone, you don\’t have to believe in the app or know how the app works in order to get value from it. Well, it\’s the same thing with these perspectives, you can do an experiment or do a try a, play a game where you\’re going to view that this was your last day on Earth. And try it out and see how your perspective shifts. So, I think these are very, really powerful games to be able to experiment with and explore. Another powerful expression that we\’ve somehow lost along the way sometimes, for not all of us, but a lot of us, is presence. Not the stuff that gets left under a tree. But our in the moment awareness of ourself, our environment, and our connection to our reality, so it\’s our presence. It\’s being present to something. It\’s being aware of it, it\’s being focused on something, it\’s being in the now. Now, that degree of presence you can spot that a mile away in kids when they\’re playing. They\’re so totally engrossed in the moment. They\’re not in their heads, they\’re not worrying about tomorrow. They\’re not stressed about what they\’re going to do next year for 2019. They\’re not worried about their tax return. They\’re not worried about what someone said, they\’re just so tuned in, and so present, and so connected in the moment. That\’s gold because that\’s what it\’s about. They\’ve figured it out. It\’s like, cool if I\’m connected, if I\’m playing, if I\’m experiencing this moment, then there is no suffering. There is nothing else but pure joy and pure expression pouring through us when we we\’re present. So, some practical tools about how we can improve our presence are doing activities like eye gazing, now for those of you that have never done eye gazing before, it\’s a beautiful practise, so those of you that are in a relationship, I definitely recommend doing eye gazing. It\’s really simple. Doesn\’t matter whether it\’s in a interrelationship, maybe a friendship, certainly if you\’ve go to some personal development workshops and seminars, certainly if you come to my events, and seminars, and retreats in the future, there will certainly be, the intention is there\’s going to be more eye gazing and those sorts of experiences. Because when you stare into someone\’s eyes, whether it be for one minute or five minutes at a time, you become so incredibly present to not only yourself, but the other person, but also you become aware of how quickly we go up here, we enter our mind, we enter into the space of judgement , how we quickly we started thinking of judging that person, or thinking are they looking at me, or what should I say, or this is awkward, or this feels weird. So, eye gazing is a simple, beautiful experience where you can so deeply connect with another human being and just be totally present and just be with them and just send them love. So, if you have any resistance to the concept of staring into someone\’s eyes, beautifully for five or 10 minutes, I would say there\’s a beautiful opportunity there to expand your consciousness, to expand the amount of love, joy, presence, awareness, that you\’ve got to experience in this world. And, I had this experience when I riding on my scooter in Bali, and I was just driving along the street, and I\’d actually really enjoy making eye contact with people as I\’m herding my scooter down the street in Ubud, thanks Mike. I\’m actually looking at, I\’m just smiling, and I\’m just in bliss because I\’m just so present and I\’m just so happy, I\’m scooting along on this motorbike, and then I\’m actually just smiling, just looking at these people and they\’re looking back at me and then eventually when they pick up eye contact, they smile back at me and they go, and there\’s like an acknowledgement. There\’s this beautiful acknowledgment. And it got me thinking like, in Perth, if I was to look at people walking through the mall, or walking along and I was to smile at them, maybe not as many people would be smiling back, and I do do this. And it got me thinking, why in Bali am I more inclined to smile at these people than back in Perth? Because I know that I\’m going to get a smile back. And the lesson I got from that was well, in life, we\’ve got to smile first. We\’ve got to smile first. Regardless of whether anyone is going to smile back at us. It\’s not important what anyone else does. All that matters is what we do. All right, so my philosophy in life, which I reaffirmed my philosophy is I\’m always going to smile first. I\’m always going to be the one that smiles at people and brings light into someone\’s day, even if it doesn\’t get reciprocated. I don\’t care what they do. If they smile back at me, great, that\’s beautiful. If not, great, I\’m just going to be the expression of that playfulness, of that love. That was my little learning, I digress a little bit, but that was these little moments in life where I just smile at people randomly, not for any particular reason, just because it feels good. So I encourage you to try that as an experiment. Do that, walking down the street, just smile at people, just nod at them, and just give them a big smile. And just notice if you\’re attached to getting a response from them. And if you\’re attached to getting a response from them, inquire why, someone might be having a bad day. Someone literally, it could be the last day of their life, they might be terminally ill with cancer, who knows? But smile at everyone, I think it\’s a fantastic practise, I do it all the time. As I\’m walking along, I\’m also blessing people. Imagining I\’m just sending them huge big packets of beautiful love when I\’m hopping in my car, it\’s my, I\’m just driving along blessing people. Why? Because it feels amazing. Out of all the things I could be doing in my mind right then, it\’s like on the menu of things in life I could experience, it feels great, so I\’m going to do it. It\’s beautiful, hey Mike. Yeah, mate, it\’s just magic when you tap into this on a consistent basis and you experience this and you consciously, with conscious awareness and presence, you\’re experiencing this on regular basis, it transforms your consciousness, it transforms your life completely. Hi Mel, good to see you here. So, we\’ve now just got, so that was presence. So now we\’re up to vulnerability. Now, vulnerability, I\’m going to define as having the courage, all right, having the courage to express ourselves authentically. Now, what that means is vulnerability is often required in order to express anything, knowing that with our expression may come acceptance, rejection, judgement , acknowledgement, so again, when you\’re putting your space out there, you\’re willing to be courageous, to express self, not having any idea, pardon me, not having any idea how your expression is going to go down. Someone might hate it, like for example, me smiling at someone. They might frown at me, they might say what\’s wrong with you? They might smile back, they might not. At the end of the day, if you want to express yourself and you\’re wanting to be the most truest, purest expression of self, you got to put yourself out there. Now, some might say that that takes, that\’s risky, well, at the end of the day, which game do you want to play? Do you want to play the game where you shut yourself down and you don\’t share anything and you just become, you tow the line and say, well hey, this game is way too risky, I\’m not going to share anything, I\’m just going to, I\’m just going to put on a mask, and only just people please and say what people want me to say. Or do I want to truly be the truest, most authentic expression of myself and that, my friends, that requires a degree of courage. Because typically, the reason why it requires courage in the first place is because we have so many, generally we have so many limiting patterns of externalising our sense of self. We externalise our validation from the acknowledgment, or the behaviour, or the approval of others, and therefore, we live our life with a checklist of going, okay, well, do I think that by me sharing this right now is going to result in them acknowledging, or approving of me, or seeing me in a favourable light, and if I think so, then I\’m going to share it. So it kind of, we\’re evaluating what do I share what with who? Now, again, I encourage everyone here viewing this to express, explore and push yourself across the boundary of hey, let\’s test out being more expressive, more truthful than not, and let\’s test, let\’s learn, let\’s expand ourselves, let\’s figure out where\’s the comfort zone. And I\’ve done this many, many, many times. I\’ve walked through the city, I\’ve walked through the city with a big sign curing phobias for people. I\’ve done all sorts of crazy stuff, putting myself out there and every time I put myself out there and conquered a fear, pushed through my comfort zone, what\’s occurred on the other side of that is total empowerment. Total recognition of, it doesn\’t matter what anyone else thinks in this reality, all that matters is what I do. So, maybe a nugget of wisdom, or a bit of a sound byte from that whole piece is it doesn\’t matter what anyone else thinks or does, it certainly doesn\’t matter what anyone else in this reality does. All that matters is what you do. That\’s all that matters, is what you do, how you behave, the standards you set for yourself. What anyone else does, that\’s them, that\’s their stuff, got nothing to do with you. So, recognise that what you do in your life, it\’s only to do with you. And own that, acknowledge it, and be empowered to be your full expression. And if you\’re not fully expressing who and what you are, go inward and recognise, what\’s holding that back, what\’s preventing you from being the expression of that? Typically, it\’s going to be your ego. It\’s going to be your ego which is going to be attached to what someone else says or thinks about you. So again, be empowered to step beyond placing any validation on what anyone outside of you thinks about you. So, that\’s my challenge for you. Now, last one for the evening is open expressions of love and intimacy. Open expressions of love and intimacy, this is a powerful one because kids straightaway, like you just see kids, when I see my little nieces and nephew, they just run at me, they just hug me, they just like launch at me, they just kissing me on the lips and all this kind of stuff and I just think, fast forward 18, 20 years, I hope that they\’re not running the other direction, saying oh, get away from Uncle Chris. All right so again, when we\’re children, we just have this, there\’s no limitation around our expression of love and affection for anyone, even complete strangers. My little nieces, they\’re walking up to complete strangers and just embracing complete strangers, so we\’ve got to recognise where along the way have we shut down our expression of intimacy? Now again, I also recognise there is a degree of appropriateness here in terms of who you share your intimacy with, however, I can also relate to in a lot of my life, I haven\’t always been comfortable hugging people. So to hug someone was kind of awkward. I kind of felt clunky, like should I hug you, should I shake your hand? Should I give you a fist bump? So, again, it\’s looking into where do I feel like I\’m being inauthentic, where do I feel like I can\’t be that pure, authentic expression of love and intimacy? And there\’s no right or no wrong and there\’s no judgement here of where you stand with regards to how you express intimacy, but I\’m starting to get back to recognising that most of the greetings of people in my life are hugs now. For men and women, it\’s just like, hey I love you, I care you, it\’s a beautiful sign of honouring and love. And I\’m okay with that now. Now, again, it has been a journey to get there. It\’s been a journey of shedding layers of shame and guilt, and my warped perception of masculinity, and what\’s appropriate and what\’s not appropriate. And all these kinds of things, so I want to encourage you as well to look into your, your degree of how comfortable you feel publicly expressing intimacy, expressing love, sharing like, actually telling people close to you how much you love them. Again for me, for a long period of time, even with my dad, I felt very, very uncomfortable even saying to my dad that I loved him. Now that\’s just the generation that he grew up in and we just never got around, it\’s kind of like the bloke\’s thing to do is never to express, was never to express love. So, I got over that. And I started to express it. I say, I love you dad, I love you, you\’re amazing. And then by saying that more and more, you get over it, and get over it, and over it, and get over your shit and then you\’ve released it and then you\’re like great, what was that, move on to the next thing. So, what we resist persists. The problems and the fears we\’re experiencing, thanks Mike, mate, I put a lot of work into hugging. It\’s now my default greeting. But no judgement if anyone greets me in person and you don\’t feel like hugging me, that\’s fine as well, I totally respect your boundaries, and I appreciate that. And I would also encourage you to consider, again, if there\’s anything, any layers of resistance that need to get peeled away, like layers of the onion, right. So, I share that example of me expressing hugs and intimacy with many in my life \’cause now the default greeting is to hug, is to hug men. It\’s just a beautiful greeting, I honour that man and I hug him, it doesn\’t matter man or woman, it\’s beautiful, it\’s just something that unfolds naturally. So, this is just some more layers that I think it\’s worth being aware of in terms of, and even just down to public displays of affection. How much affection do you feel comfortable displaying in public? Now, again, typically the way that we get taught how to affection was from when we grew up with our parents. We got taught how to do affection, we got taught how to do relationships, we obviously got taught how to do money. We also, unconsciously, got either taught or not taught on how to do sex, right, what was sex all about, it was either taboo or it was either no, don\’t go there, that\’s not appropriate, we\’ll never talk about it. There\’s a sex scene that comes up on TV, nope, we\’re not watching that. Or it was something that was openly talked about and discussed. For me personally, again I\’m just going to share my own philosophy now, but if I\’m fortunate enough to have kids one day, I\’m going to be sharing openly about sex, about talking about intimacy, I\’m going to empowering my children to understand the facets, the intricacies, the dynamics, all these things that I\’m talking to you about now, I will be talking to directly with my children. 100%, there will be no stone left unturned. I believe that true empowerment for children and for everyone means that we need to be so authentic and open with absolutely every conversation that\’s happening so that people can explore and understand themselves to the highest degree. So, that\’s a little bit about my philosophy and my perspective when it comes to empowering children with this kind of knowledge as well. Anyway, I\’m going to leave it there guys, so that was the world according to Chris when it comes to shedding back the layers and stepping back into embracing our true selves, our authentic selves, our true expression of what some of us have maybe been hiding from, or limiting in our expression for a lot of years, so I encourage you to explore how do we tap into those deeper, true expressions of ourselves that where kids just naturally, unconsciously do it \’cause I think it\’s a, within that context about being truly authentic, being a true expression of our true selves, I think that, I think in that context, lies one of the most powerful secrets about how to live an empowered life. Because it\’s through that frame, it\’s through that perspective that we recognise, wow, we can get back to that, we can become that totally empowered, fully self-expressed being of power when we get over our stuff, when we let some of the stuff from our past go. So, I\’m going to leave it there guys, thank you guys so much for tuning in tonight. As always, it\’s been a pleasure, and I just want to say again, greetings from beautiful Hobart in Tasmania. For those of you that haven\’t been to Hobart before, do yourselves a favour and get down here and check it out, yes it can be a little bit cold but it\’s also very, very beautiful, the people here are amazing, and Christmas and New Year in particular is a beautiful time to be here. So, wishing you lots of love guys, have a magical week and I look forward to seeing you guys again next, I hope I\’m going to be tuning in next Tuesday, next Tuesday is Christmas Day, here we go, maybe I\’ll, I haven\’t decided if I\’ll, we\’ll see how we go, maybe I\’ll do a quick check in on Christmas Day for you guys, but if I don\’t see you between now and Christmas, wishing you a beautiful Christmas and New Year\’s period, hope you, if you\’re spending time with family, remember what I spoke about in terms of having compassion, give them the benefit of the doubt, and just share love and blessings around the place, not for any other reason, just \’cause it feels friggin\’ amazing, so I\’ll leave that with you guys, thanks for tuning in guys, lots of love, and yeah, Merry Christmas, I\’ll see you on the flip side. Lots of love guys, bye for now.

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