Chris Jackson Coaching

Ep #11: Secrets to Developing Emotional Mastery

Good evening guys. Happy Tuesday. Happy Transformation Tuesday. Welcome back. Let\’s wait for a few people to jump on. Good evening. If you\’re tuning in give us a shout out. Give me some love. Great to be back here for Transformation Tuesday. And for those of you joining on the replay, feel free to drop some comments in. Always keen to get your feedback as to what you\’re liking, what you\’re enjoying, what you\’re loving, what you want to hear more of. So I\’m going to be diving deep tonight on a really powerful topic, powerful concept that has the ability and the power to transform our consciousness, to elevate our level of awareness, and to radically improve our ability and our proficiency to be connected to who and what we are at our core and to have a greater level of emotional intelligence, to have a higher level of productivity, and to be, have access to a greater degree of guidance in life and our experience. So I\’m going to dive into the concept that is known as \’the projection of the shadow\’, also known in some schools of teaching as \’perception is projection\’. And I\’m going to explain and share with you how this model plays out in our life, what\’s actually going on behind the scenes in terms of our perception of reality, how this affects us, and what to do about it. Because when we start to unpack and uncover how we\’re doing this thing called consciousness, we become empowered to radically transform our results. So this is something that\’s really powerful and when we truly master this our life and our results completely go to the next level. So I\’m going to dive in. Perception is projection is a concept where us as human beings in our environment, we can only perceive things in our environment, hey Matt, how you doing there? We can only perceive things in our environment that is us. So what does that mean? Well everything that we view in life is we\’re applying our own filter system. We\’re looking at something and we\’re applying our own perspective. And the way that we look at that experience, ultimately, the perception that we\’ve got, the meaning we give that event, and every single emotion that we create as a conscious human being, we create that by perceiving our environment. Now I\’ll give you a classic example that illustrates this. So let\’s just say for example, this cup right now. Until I look at this cup I have no idea that it even exists. I have no idea what it is, what it\’s made of. I literally have no idea. Now only at the moment when I now look at this cup, I now form an opinion, I now project onto that cup all the opinions, my beliefs, and everything that I believe about this cup, I\’m now just projecting it. So before I looked at it there was nothing. I had no idea what it was. Now, the instant that I now look at it, I\’m now projecting it and giving meaning to creating and I\’m creating the reality that is this cup in my mind the moment that I look at it and the moment I project onto it. So this principle is playing out in every single moment of every single day with every single person we interact with. So we look at someone, and what we\’re actually doing is we\’re evaluating, we\’re judging. We are applying our filter system which is simply our perspective of reality. We\’re applying that every time we look at someone. So for example, you might look at your partner. If your partner frustrates you, well I\’ve got news for you. That is you. The same thing that frustrates you about them is the thing that frustrates you about you. So everything that we\’re perceiving in our reality is us. The things that we like in others is the things that we like in ourself. The thing that triggers us, our \’hot buttons\’, the thing that frustrates us or makes us angry, the thing that frustrates us when we observe it in others is the same thing that frustrates us in ourselves. So you\’ve probably heard of the phrase how we judge others is how we judge ourself. Well this is the concept playing out, which is perception is projection. Now the concept of the parts of someone else or something that we\’re experiencing in life that you don\’t particularly like that generates a negative experience, a negative emotion, to the degree to which you experience a negative emotion, to the same degree, you have that same part of you, that same behaviour within you that you were diminishing or rejecting. Hey Matt, thank you. It\’s a pleasure to share. So this is a super powerful concept because when we get triggered, when we have a negative emotional reaction to something or someone, there\’s a huge gift in that, because what we\’re actually doing is we\’re judging that. So let\’s just say for example we get angry at someone. And this is if we get angry at someone, then that behaviour that we\’re getting angry at we\’re also, not only are we judging that thing in someone else but we\’re also judging that within ourself. So straight away there\’s a major clue. If I\’m being triggered, I\’m having a negative emotional experience, that in itself, that is judgement of something else, therefore that same degree we\’re judging that in someone else we\’re also judging that within ourselves. Now the degree to which we are negatively triggered, so the degree to which we have negative emotional experiences about others, to the same degree we are diminishing that attribute within ourselves. So this is absolute gold. Actually, and Matt, good to have you guys here. This is absolute gold because every time we get triggered in life by someone or something, it\’s giving us a major clue about, right, well if I\’m judging that behaviour in them, I\’m also judging that behaviour in myself. And it actually starts with us not accepting that behaviour in ourselves. So, and this is deeply unconscious, mind you. So the degree to which we have negative emotions about others means that that is deeply ingrained and deeply unconscious within ourselves. So, here\’s the major clue. Here\’s the huge gift in any experience where we get triggered, where we get frustrated, where we get angry, where we get sad. Any negative emotion that you\’re experiencing, what we\’re actually doing is we\’re projecting onto that external experience the unresolved, most deepest unconscious parts of ourselves that we haven\’t yet accepted, haven\’t loved about ourself, and we\’re just projecting it onto someone else. So what we\’re actually seeing is we\’re seeing the world through our own lens. We\’re actually just viewing us. So when you see someone who\’s doing something that you don\’t like, to the same degree we don\’t like, we don\’t like that behaviour within ourselves. So actually what we\’re doing is we\’re judging them, but in order to judge them we have to have first judged ourself and diminished ourselves and rejected that part of our own behaviour within us and so that we\’re now witnessing and it\’s now unfolding and it\’s now playing out as that person\’s done that, that person\’s to blame, that person\’s done this, I\’m the victim, they\’re doing that to me. Whereas what\’s actually unfolding is I\’m just viewing, I\’m literally viewing my world, which is I\’m viewing myself. And this is a complete mindfuck, is everything in our reality we are viewing ourselves. We are simply projecting the deepest, most unconscious parts of ourselves into our reality. And the degree to which we\’re experiencing negative emotions is the same degree to which we are unaware or unconscious of how much we are judging that part of ourselves, or how much we are rejecting that as being part of ourselves. So, for example, if we see someone commit an atrocity, like an act of violence, we might say no, no, I don\’t have any violence in me. That\’s not possible. I don\’t have that behaviour within me. Well, we actually do have that behaviour capable within us. We actually have all behaviours capable within us. We have possible of every single behaviour. So the degree to which we diminish or judge a particular behaviour in someone else, to the same degree we are judging ourself. That is a game changer. Because whenever we get triggered we can recognise, aha, I\’m just being triggered here. I\’m projecting something in my external world. What is it about me that I\’m denying, suppressing or rejecting about myself? Because in order to judge someone else we have to have judged ourself by the same behaviour, which means if we\’re judging ourself, if we\’re diminishing that behaviour in ourselves, it means that we can\’t actually love ourself, right? So we\’ve just uncovered a huge part of our psyche, a huge part of our behaviour, a huge part of our identity that we\’ve been diminishing or rejecting. So here\’s the gift in every time we get triggered is you want to see that person who triggers you, the person who frustrates you, the person who you view as the person to blame, view them as your hero because they\’re eliminating all the parts within you that you are diminishing, that you\’re rejecting, that you haven\’t accepted and integrated. So this is a huge gift. And that experience is going to keep unfolding until we integrate that, until we accept that behaviour is possible within us. So I\’ll go back to the example of violence. Now I\’m not saying that we condone violence. What I am saying is if we witness someone else having violent behaviour and we are really opposed to that and it drives real anger or frustration, then to the degree that it drives a negative reaction within ourselves is to the same degree that we are rejecting violent behaviour within us, to the extent where we completely dismiss it and diminish it from ever being a part of our behaviour, which means that every time we see anger in our environment, we are going to get triggered, where we see violence we\’re going to get triggered. We are going to have that same emotional experience, which to a degree is not actually serving us, because if we have a negative emotional reaction every time we see something that we don\’t like, that\’s exhausting. That\’s detracting us from being in a pure, connected state. So if we are now reactionary, if we are now seeing something, we get triggered constantly, that\’s not a good thing. Where we want to get to, the place, the ultimate place, is where we can see that behaviour, we don\’t necessarily condone it, but what we do is we accept at some level that we are capable of that behaviour, and what it does is it lets us diminish that. It lets us neutralise the impact of that behaviour on us, because what it\’s now doing is we can now accept under some circumstances, under some potentiality, under some imaginary circumstance, I could potentially be, I could potentially be committing the same violence, so I could actually accept that behaviour as part of my way of being, not condoning it, but accepting it as well that\’s part of being a human. And to the degree that we accept it, we\’re then able to love that part of ourselves, which doesn\’t necessarily mean we\’re going to be violent, but it means that we can accept it, which means that we can move beyond the emotional trigger when we see that in our external environment playing out. So this is really deep and there\’s a lot of big aha moments. There\’s a lot of big nuggets of awareness that get created out of this model, out of this way of thinking. Because now, every time we get emotionally triggered, literally it\’s telling us everything we need to know about ourselves, about what we need to move beyond within us to diminish that negative emotional experience, to accept something about ourself, which means we can move closer towards self love, self acceptance, and really appreciating that no behaviour is inherently good, bad, right, wrong, or evil. There\’s just infinite, there\’s an infinite spectrum in behaviour. And when we accept every single aspect of ourselves, \’cause that\’s what we\’re doing when we accept all of our behaviour, we accept everything about ourselves, which means that we can love ourselves completely and wholly. So this is a pretty powerful concept. So, again the example of this is what you love in your partner or what you love in your friend is also what you love about yourself. What you despise in your partner, what you despise about someone else, what you despise about your enemies, you also despise about yourself. So, there\’s the major clue. What we don\’t like in others we also don\’t like in ourselves, which if he haven\’t integrated and accepted that, then it will remain unconsciously, we\’ll be rejecting that unconsciously. So this is a really powerful concept. When you get this and when you start to accept those parts of yourself, and this is called the projection of the shadow. So Carl Jung wrote, he wrote a lot and he studied a lot, and this concept is called the projection of the shadow. So the projection of the shadow is where we\’re now projecting the unconscious, unresolved parts of us that we don\’t like about ourselves, hence why it\’s called the shadow, the parts of ourselves that we\’re not particularly proud of, we\’re unconsciously projecting that onto everything around us, and therefore we see relationships, we see objects, we see behaviour, we see everything in our environment, we see that as something external or outside of ourselves, when it\’s actually we\’re viewing ourselves. We can only view the world, we can only view things in our reality that are us. So everything we perceive in our reality we are simply perceiving ourselves. As I said before in the example of the cup, until I look at this cup, this cup is nothing. This cup doesn\’t exist. Hey Adam, thanks for tuning in brother. Good to see you man. This cup doesn\’t exist. Now, as soon as I now look at this cup I\’m now projecting all of my thoughts, beliefs, perspectives, opinions, on this cup and I have no idea what this cup is \’cause I\’ve only known this cup for a couple of seconds. So this cup could be made of plastic, steel, whatever, but I\’m now projecting all my preconceived ideas, beliefs, and notions on this cup without knowing anything about it. And when I look away and when I look back again, I\’m projecting another lot in the same way as you\’re projecting your beliefs, your perspective. And literally there\’s seven billion perspectives. Every single person on planet Earth is going to have their own perspective when they look at this cup and they\’re all going to come up with a different perspective, a different opinion. So who\’s right? Who has the truth? Well the reality is, no one has, everyone\’s got their own individual truth. So we can only view our reality through the lens that is our own truth, which is our own identity, which is our own perspective, which is us. So every time we have a perspective and opinion on someone it\’s only us. We are viewing ourselves. We are viewing a reality through the lens of us. So whatever we see in our reality that we don\’t like we also, to the same degree, we don\’t like that about ourselves. Looking at someone else and seeing stuff that we love in them, to the same degree we love the same stuff about ourselves. So we are just a projecting machine. We are just constantly 24/7 projecting our internal world onto the external world and we believe that this is the illusion that gets created by human consciousness, is we believe that my reality is true. We believe that I am actually seeing this reality to be true, whereas in actual fact, we are projecting this reality based on our truth. So our truth gets projected rather than us perceiving truth coming in this way. So the internal creates the external. Our internal creates the external. Our internal world gets reflected outwards rather than us perceiving the external coming inward. Now that, that is the principle that we\’re talking about. And when we truly understand this notion, this concept, we can now go through life being connected, being conscious, and being aware of how we are creating reality, which is in every moment, in every second that we are alive we are projecting our own thoughts, perspectives, beliefs, intentions, fears, hopes, dreams, desires. We are projecting 100% of this experience that we\’re having because we\’re projecting us. So as I said before, to the extent that we have negative emotions about our external environment, about things and people in our environment that trigger us, to that same extent that is an unconscious projection of the parts of you, which are your, also known as your shadow, the parts of you that you don\’t particularly like, the parts that you haven\’t moved beyond, the parts you haven\’t accepted and absorbed and dissolved into your way of being. So what is at your deepest unconscious level is being projected as being the things that cause you a lot of negative emotions in your environment. Once you become conscious of that, it ceases to have any power over you. So I\’ll give you an example and this is my own example. When I was at Nando\’s the other week, I went to Nando\’s and as the guys were bringing out my food they screwed my order up. I had to wait an extra 20 minutes. Anyway, it was a bit of a disaster. Anyway, as this is all unfolding I\’m actually aware that I was actually being triggered. There\’s a mild frustration, a little bit of something creeping in. I was observing this. And what I actually recognised afterwards was that the waiter who brought my food over, I was projecting onto him. I was judging him and I was labelling him as incompetent. I was labelling him as incompetence. Then I recognised if I was to do that same behaviour myself, I would be judging myself. I would be judging myself as incompetent. So therefore, what I learned about myself was ah, I\’m judging this guy as incompetent so therefore where am I judging myself as incompetent? So there\’s a learning there for me \’cause I recognise, aha, I, to a degree, I\’m still judging myself whenever I\’m not accelerating to a high degree of performance. I\’m judging myself, aha. So if I\’m still now judging myself I cannot possibly have the highest degree of self love for myself. Hey Sean, good to see you. So I recognise the emotional trigger in the external world gives us awareness of judgement of that person, that thing, which then gives us awareness of judgement of self, which then identifies what part of ourself we haven\’t absorbed and transformed and transmuted, because that part of ourself which is our shadow, that unconscious part of ourselves that we\’re not proud of, that we don\’t like, that we violently oppose to being anything within us, we become aware of that. We now become aware of ah, okay, well I actually do have that behaviour, that capability, that characteristic within me. We can now accept it. We can now recognise well, I have got the capability of potential of exhibiting that behaviour, of doing that thing. So what we can now do is we can now have forgiveness and compassion for ourselves to recognise that we\’re not perfect, that we do have that degree of behaviour in us, and to have compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance of that within us which lets us move beyond the judgement . \’Cause once we move beyond the judgement it then ceases to have any negative impact on us. So we now become neutral to that behaviour. We could do it, we could not do it. There\’s a neutrality to it. So there\’s power in having neutrality around characteristics. And when we have power over that, we can now behave that way, or not, and we now have the ability to come from a place of acceptance and neutrality in all of that behaviour. So this lets us move beyond judgement of self, beyond judgement of others, and truly have compassion for ourselves, which means we start to step into being able to access a greater degree of self love, self trust, self worth. Hey GG, good to see you here my brother. So, that is the core message here, is whenever we get triggered by someone else, something outside of ourselves, and we violently oppose it, we object or we don\’t like it, we think it\’s, we want nothing to do with it, to the same degree, we\’re judging ourselves, we\’re judging that behaviour within us. And until we bring that unconscious part of ourselves to conscious awareness and resolve and dissolve it, it will continue to keep triggering us in our external environment. So, my suggestion is go looking for where you get triggered. As I said before, the person who triggers you, the person who gives you that negative emotional experience in your external world, they\’re your hero. Celebrate them. Actually rejoice when you get triggered, because you are now being given and reflected a valuable bit of data, a bit of information about your internal reality, your psychology, your belief system, your identity, everything about you at the unconscious level that you\’re projecting in your reality. So you now become aware of that. You go ah, I\’m judging this person. How am I judging myself by the same standard? You can then have compassion for self, love for self, forgiveness for self, and acceptance of that behaviour. Not condoning it necessarily, but accepting that it\’s possible in your life, that you actually have the potential to behave that way. Then once you accept it, you can then neutralise that negative impact. What you\’re now doing is you\’re now integrating your shadow. You\’re integrating this and instead of it being a shadow you now become whole and complete. It now becomes another way of being that you have at your disposal and not necessarily, it doesn\’t mean that you\’ll want to behave that way. It just means that you\’ll now have a neutrality around when you want to behave that way, or not, which means it then, it gets transmitted through your whole entire consciousness, through everything that you perceive, because now it\’s just neutral. So you now don\’t get triggered through anger or sadness or fear or frustration. It\’s now just a neutrality. And you now can have discernment. You can now have conscious awareness in the moment about how you want to react, how you want to respond rather. So this is a really really big topic. This is a powerful topic when you really understand this to the deepest level. You become empowered because you recognise that everything that I\’m observing in my reality, it\’s simply me. I\’m looking at a reflection of me. I\’m projecting my reality. So whenever you see something you don\’t like you\’re looking at yourself. Whenever you see something that you really really don\’t like you\’re looking at yourself. Whenever you see something that you love you\’re looking at yourself. So this is empowerment. This is true empowerment \’cause this is the truth. This is the nature of the reality that we live in. And as I said before, when we look at a cup, for the very first time when you stare at it and you\’ve never seen it before, you have no idea what it is. And the same thing with a person. When you first meet a person, literally, as you now stare at that person, you\’re now projecting every single thing onto that person. And if, unless you know them as well as they know themselves, unless you\’ve been in their body and lived their life and walked in their shoes, you have no idea who they are, so you could possibly never know who they are. So absolutely everything that you perceive is simply a projection. It\’s simply a estimate. It\’s just simply a guess at what is. And then when we truly appreciate that, we can recognise, well, everything that I\’m experiencing is me. Everything that I\’m looking at is my creation. It\’s my perspective. It\’s my projection. I\’m simply projecting my internal world onto my external world. And when we realise that, which is the truth of consciousness, oh God, this is empowering. This is one of the most empowering principles of personal development, of spirituality. When we truly get this, and there\’s multiple levels to get this on. I\’ve been having aha moments over this teaching, perception is projection, the projection of shadow. I\’ve been having aha moments of this dropping for probably the last three, four or so years. And it keeps dropping on multiple levels when we come aware of how we\’re creating reality. \’Cause we\’re not observing reality. We\’re creating reality. We\’re projecting it. And quantum physics tells us the observer creates the observed. So what does that mean? Well when we observe something we\’re actually creating it as we observe it. So anyway, this is a powerful topic. It goes super deep and I\’m going to be expanding on this as we go through the journey. So, to do a mini re-cap, how we judge others is how we judge ourself. We don\’t actually know who or what someone else is. We\’re just simply looking at them. And based on our perspective, our experiences, our belief systems, our values, and everything that we know about our reality, we\’re simply making a guess at what is. And so that is a projection. We are projecting the innermost unconscious parts of ourselves, and the degree to which we\’re experiencing negative emotions about something else or something else, to the same degree we believe that it\’s outside ourselves and that it\’s not us, but it actually is 100% us. And this was what Carl Jung was talking about when he spoke about the projection of the shadow. So I trust this was insightful. I trust that you guys got value from this. This is a really powerful model of teaching, of thinking, of really understanding how we do reality, because this is the truth of what\’s actually going on when we\’re perceiving our world. And when you truly get this, my word, your connection to your higher self, your ability to be emotionally intelligent, your ability to handle and resolve and dissolve conflict in your life goes to the next level. Your ability to be a phenomenal, outstanding leader and professional human being goes to another level because you recognise I\’m responsible for my reality. I\’m creating my reality right now. I\’m projecting the whole reality. So whether you\’re angry or sad, you\’re projecting your reality. If you\’re happy or joyful you\’re projecting your reality. We are meaning making machines in a meaningless world. We are creating this whole thing. We are the director, the writer, the sound over guy. We are the actors in our own movie. We are writing and creating and directing and producing this movie. There\’s an internal movie playing inside here and there\’s an external movie playing outside there. The internal movie is completely a projection. The external is simply a projection of the internal. So this is empowering tools, concepts, ways of thinking. Try it out. Recognise the next time you get triggered, what is it about them that you\’re judging that you\’re also judging in yourself? Then you\’re able to have compassion for that part of you within you. You can absolve it, dissolve it, which means it no longer has any negative impact on you, which means you can now go through life in a greater state of connection. I\’ll leave that with you guys. Thank you so much for tuning in to Transformation Tuesday. It\’s been a awesome episode. I love sharing this stuff. This is the stuff that matters. This is super deep. And when we truly get this, your emotional intelligence, your consciousness, your awareness, your spirituality, your ability to generate results in life and your ability to be connected, like heart space connected, conscious connected, connected to higher self, goes to the whole next level. So as always, love you guys heaps. I trust you got heaps of value from Transformation Tuesday. Please tune in next week same time for more deep nuggets of wisdom and I look forward to sharing more with you next Tuesday. See you guys soon. Thanks for tuning in everyone and I\’ll see you next Tuesday. Bye for now.

Leave a Comment

Client Creation Made Easy E-Book

Get the coach's guide to securing long-term High-Ticket Clients.

I agree with the Terms and Conditions. We respect your privacy. Your data will not be shared or sold.