Transformational Tuesday Season 2

HOW TO USE INSIDE OUT THINKING TO SOLVE ANY PROBLEM

- Hello everyone, and welcome back to Transformation Tuesday. Tonight's episode is how do we use inside-out thinking to solve any problem? And I love this model because it takes a deeper look at the true nature of our reality, the way that we do consciousness. How we create our world from the inside out is such an empowering and a beautiful realisation as to the true nature of reality. And when we have an understanding of it, how the reality actually works, how our consciousness works, we can start to dissolve our problems from the inside out. So I'm excited to share more with you tonight about how we can hack our problems, how we can solve our issues in life at a deeper level by out-thinking them. By realising the layers of illusion and the, the layers, the hidden layers of illusion that go on behind our consciousness that we're not even aware of. So I'm excited to share some of these with you, and some examples tonight about how you can use inside-out thinking to change your reality. Welcome Mike, welcome Allison, good to have you guys here. First of all, I want to talk about an example about how I realised this model really applies to any situation in life to solve a problem. And I want to start with sharing an example, because this is the best way to understand how this model really works, which is fundamentally the true nature of consciousness. The true nature of how we create our experience, and it's that our thinking is projected into our consciousness that we feel. So we are feeling the effects of our thinking, and then we are now perceiving the effects of our thinking, as being our external reality, or something happening outside of it. Listen, I'll give you a perfect example of how this unfolded for me. Awhile ago, I was involved in a particular business arrangement whereby someone lied to me, someone mislead me, someone misrepresented themselves, and as a result of that, that was the fact. As a result of that, I felt like I was manipulated. So that all happened and I'm all good with it now, it's all over and done with, but at the time it was one of the worst things I'd ever experienced. I felt someone had lied to me. I felt someone had tried to deceive me. I felt manipulated and I felt, I really felt like I was a victim. I felt hard-done by as a result of them lying to me. And I thought they were deliberately trying to hurt me, manipulate me. Now, regardless of whatever they were doing, I want to guide you through how I resolved that. 'Cause what I realised was that despite someone misrepresenting themselves, despite someone telling a lie, the only person that can ever manipulate me, is me. So I thought I'd been manipulated, but I hadn't been manipulated. I had chosen to be manipulated. I made the choice to go along with something, which when I look back on it, I was making the best decision I could at the time with the information that I knew. And I made a decision to go along with something this person recommended based upon the best information I had at the time. So I made the choice to be manipulated. So instead of me being a victim, instead of me making it about someone else, I just realised that I made the choice to be manipulated. So I could actually take ownership of, okay, I've created this situation. Doesn't change the situation, doesn't change the outcome, it doesn't change what took place, but it changes how I felt about it. So by owning that situation that I chose to be manipulated, I moved out of, what I call victim consciousness, and I moved into becoming empowered to realise that I created my reality. Very, very empowering place to be. So that meant that instead of me feeling like I was manipulated, I just kind of felt like I'd made a silly choice. I felt like I probably should have known better. So instead of me now feeling like a victim, I was now just kind of feeling sorry for myself. I was just kind of felt like I feel a bit silly. I feel a bit embarrassed. I don't know if you guys can ever relate to having a sense of making a decision that you're probably not that proud of, that you kind of got a sense of, oh okay, this wasn't really in my best interest. Well, I was just left with a feeling of, now I feel like, I'm kind of embarrassed. Maybe I feel kind of ashamed. I kind of feel like I should have known better. Then what I did was, I then realised, well I made the best decision that I could at the time. I made the choice at that time, based on the information and the knowledge, and the wisdom that I had, the level of consciousness that I was at. I made a choice at that time, to make that decision based on everything that I knew, which was the best that I could. So therefore, all that I was doing was that I'm now judging a decision that I made in the past. I'm now resenting something that I did. Not realising that I was doing the best that I could. So by me realising that well, I was doing the best that I could. And I made a choice. And it was all me. And there's no need to beat myself up over it because it's done. There's no point arguing with reality because when you argue with reality, you're going to lose 100% of the time. So I realised that I was just arguing with reality. I was judging a decision that I'd made. I was judging myself. I was judging someone else as being manipulative of me, but I realised it was all an illusion. I made a choice that was in the best interest to me, and I saw the whole situation for what it was. Which is just life unfolding, and I learned something. So I went from feeling like a victim, I went from feeling like someone was trying to manipulate me. To then feeling silly and feeling a little bit embarrassed, to then feeling nothing, done. That was over. And that realisation took place in a conversation probably in a matter of probably 20 minutes. I came to that realisation. For what was one of the most sensitive and one of the most challenging periods of my life. And in 20 minutes, I let it go. Because I realised the illusion that it was. So why am I sharing this with you? Well, I didn't have to forgive this person who misled me. I didn't have to try and work myself up into a state of compassion, and come on, forgive them, you know. Be a loving person and just give them the benefit of the doubt. I didn't have to create any sense of needing to forgive anyone, because there was nothing to be forgiven. There was nothing to be forgiven. I'd created an illusion. I'd created a thought storm. I'd created a story, that someone had tried to manipulate me. Whereas in actual fact, I just made a choice to be manipulated. So once I realised the truth, there wasn't any deep emotional purging to be done. There wasn't anyone to forgive. There was just looking at the truth, which was I created thought. And as a result of that thought, sort of falling away, there is no, there is no healing to be done. So what I learned from this experience is that whenever we look at the actual true nature of what's taking place inside our consciousness, we can resolve and dissolve every single element of suffering that's been taking place inside our experience. And we can go through every single experience in our life and we can look at it, and we can see the illusion for what it is. Another example is anger, and for a lot of people what happens is they observe themselves being angry and they say, I'm angry because of you, and because I'm angry because of that. Well, the anger is not caused by anything outside of us. Our anger is caused by how we relate to and give meaning to the things outside of us. So no one can ever make you angry. You choose to be angry in response to something that's happening outside of you. In the same way as you could also choose to be neutral to that. You could choose to be in acceptance of that. You could choose to laugh at it, or you could choose to be angry. So again we can start to look at every single scenario in our life and go, I am creating my emotional reaction because of the thinking that I am now projecting. The thinking, and the meaning, and the nature of how I'm externalising my feeling onto something outside of myself. So anger is a classic example. No one can ever make you feel angry. You choose to do anger as a result of reaction to something outside of you. Admittedly yes, we've brought up a series of reactions, a series of memories, a series of reference points in our past that are now encouraging us to do anger. Because that's what we've always done. But as soon as we realise that it is not the thing outside of us that's causing to be angry, but our thinking about that. That's when we become liberated. That's when we become free from suffering. Because we can now see that anything that I'm experiencing is simply me interpreting and adding meaning and layers and layers and layers of perception. To something that's just out there that's inherently neutral. Now this might just seem like an exercise in just accepting that everything in life is neutral. Well, it kind of is. But it's a deeper level of acceptance of that. And we might know it intellectually, we might know intellectually that everything in life is just neutral. And we might know that yes, when we look through the human lens we create meaning and we create suffering. But to actually get that on a deeper level, that's the trick. And sometimes that's just the nature of going through these experiences. Is we gain that realisation at an intuitive level, at a deeper level of understanding, even though we might know it intellectually, we haven't yet embodied them. Hey, Charmaine, hey Fatima, good to see you guys here. Hope you're doing well. So we're talking here about the inside-out nature of reality. We're talking about how it's our perceptions and our meanings that we are generating, mostly unconsciously, that's creating all the suffering of our life. And as soon as we can understand, how we are externalising our reality, i.e when we are applying an outside-in perspective. We can now see how we are projecting meaning and beliefs onto other things outside of us. So I gave you the example before where I realised that no one could ever manipulate me, only I could manipulate me. Well, same thing applies for anger. No one can ever make me angry. I'm the one that chooses to get angry because I am reacting to something outside of me. So whenever we use the word make, this person makes me feel, or that makes me, it's not actually accurate. It's not anything outside of us making us anything. It is us choosing to be in reaction to something. So this is a really powerful way of pulling apart our reality. Is whenever we want to reclaim our sovereignty, whenever we want to reclaim us being the creators of reality. All we need to do is realise that no one is making us feel anything. We can reclaim that sovereignty by asking the question, how am I choosing to create this? How am I choosing to create this inside my consciousness? That's the question, how am I choosing to create this? By asking that question, you get taken out of the suffer cycle, you get taken out of victim consciousness, and you place your sovereignty, you place your free will, you place your conscious experience back in your own hands. And you can actually claim ownership that I have created this. And then we just need to understand how we've created it. So I'm just giving you some examples there of manipulation. I've given you an example of anger. I'll give you the example as well of guilt. Nothing can ever make you feel guilty. Nothing out there can make you feel guilty. It's what you choose to make that mean about your identity, about your sense of self, about whether you're a good or a bad person. Now if you've done something that's maybe out of alignment with your values, and I use that phrase deliberately, out of alignment. I didn't use the word wrong. Out of alignment. We want to avoid using the word right and wrong, because it inherently, the way we've defined right and wrong, it comes loaded with a lot of judgement . Outside of the human experience, there is no right and wrong. There is just something that either feels in alignment, or not. Something that feels loving, something that's not loving. So this is a really simple way of really getting clarity on just letting go of the layers of judgement and fear that are infused inside our experience. So no one can ever make you feel guilty. You can never make yourself feel guilty from anything you've done. It's your thinking about what you've done and it's the meaning that you're making that mean about something you did that is causing the emotion of guilt. So a great way to recognise this is when you say, I feel guilty. What you're actually saying, is I am choosing to judge myself over something that I did and I'm now labelling myself as I did something wrong and therefore I'm diminishing myself, I'm judging myself. And therefore I'm beating myself up over something that happened in the past. Which is like arguing with the umpires at the football after they've already made a decision. And we're now beating ourselves up, as opposed to just observing, okay well, that's what I did. Was it in alignment or not? If it's not in alignment, what is there to learn? If it is in alignment, well, there's nothing to learn there. A lot of people can for example do guilt and a lot of people are very very good at doing guilt. When there's no actual valid reason, not that there's ever a valid reason really to do guilt, because it's just not required. We don't need to do a negative emotion in order to gain wisdom from an experience. But for a lot of people, they're feeling guilty over something they shouldn't be feeling guilty about. Like they've done nothing wrong. They've done absolutely nothing wrong. So a lot of people feel guilty. Over not spending enough time with their family. Or they feel guilty about not donating enough money to charity. I've just given you a couple of examples there. But that guilt, it's an emotion that's generated because of the thinking about the action. It's got nothing to do with the action, it's just the thinking about the action. So you can look at not spending time, lets just for example if you forgot your partner's birthday or your wedding anniversary, you might look at that and feel guilty about that and feel like you're a horrible person, or you might look at that and go, okay, I've got a bad memory. Right? So you can either feel guilty, or you can either just say, okay, I forgot. Two different choices of conscious experience that are unfolding here. Now, they're not saying that this is really one a, an ideal scenario. You know you might say that a nice way to be in, if you're in a partnership would be to remember milestones like that. However, in the event that was to be forgotten. Well, guilt wouldn't be resourceful. Guilt wouldn't do anyone any favours. What would do some favours would be asking a question. Well, maybe I'm forgetful, why am I so forgetful? How can I maybe not be so forgetful in the future? Maybe I need to use a calender. Maybe I need to set some reminders in my phone. Maybe I need to upgrade my personal admin or my organisation. The guilt is not required. So again what we're starting to recognise here is all negative emotions, none of them serve. They are an unnecessary layer of suffering that we as humans indulge in. Because when unsupervised our mind will revert to and default to the programme of the ego which its nature is to judge. Its nature is to diminish. Its nature is this fear-based expression that's going to generate a whole lot of negative emotions. So you can look at every single negative emotion, and I say negative emotion I'm referring to the uncomfortable ones, the ones that don't feel uplifting. You can look at every single negative emotion and you can see how you have created from the inside-out. You can see how you've chosen to create it. When you could've chosen to create something else. Now, what I'm sharing with you now, is not something that's necessarily easy. It's simple but it's not easy. And yes, it takes in some cases a lifetime of work on our consciousness, on our understanding, of the nature of consciousness and the nature of being human, to sometimes realise these insights. To sometimes get this. And when I share with you the example before of how I felt that someone manipulated me, after I saw that, I kind of laughed at myself and thought, I've been studying personal development and coaching and teaching this stuff for years. How could I not have known that? But it was in that moment of suffering, in that moment of resistance, we can't see clearly. It's difficult to see clearly. And that's why when you're in the shit, when you're in the suffering, it can be very very difficult to spot. Because you're in it. It feels so real, it feels like it's actually happening inside of us. But it's actually happening outside of us. So this is where there's the liberation of our consciousness. It's recognising that all of our experience is contained inside our mind. All of the experience that we experience in life, is happening inside our consciousness. It is a perception. We are generating meaning. We are ultimately creating a masterpiece. In each and every moment we have a blank canvas, and we are painting what we are seeing, based on our perception, not based on what's real. So it doesn't matter whether you pick anger, whether you pick resentment, guilt, sadness, every single emotion inside of us is generated as a result of us. Making a perception, making a meaning about something outside of us. And so it's an outside-in approach. As opposed to an inside-out approach. Is recognising that we are meaning making machines, in an ultimately meaningless world. I don't mean that to sound nihilistic, but this is the true nature of reality, is outside the lens of a human, everything is neutral. It is simply just energy and information. And as a result of us observing that as a human, well, we're now going to label that as good, bad, right or wrong. We are either going to love it or hate it. We're going to accept it or judge it. So that's what's actually taking place is. As we observe things, as a human, we are collapsing an infinite number of possible meanings and emotions over a particular thing happening. We're collapsing that down into, what does that mean for me? Hi Sherl, good to see you. So I use this example a lot, but it's a really simple one, you know you can be driving along in traffic, and someone cuts in on your lane. And they steal a little bit of space or maybe they might have bumped into you and they dent your car. Now, again how do you respond to that? It's ultimately about your attitude. It's about your philosophy. It's about who you are, and what you're projecting onto that scenario. Because you can look at that and laugh at it. You could laugh at it, you could smile at it, or you can get angry at it. You could feel like you're a victim. You could feel gratitude that you are lucky enough to own a car. You could feel excited that you get to meet another driver when they hop out of the car and you get to meet them, it could be the partner of your dreams. You could see that experience in any way you want. And yes, you've probably heard this before. And yes, intellectually we probably know this, but until we actually embody it on a case-by-case basis, and truly live this way, showing up in every single moment day to day. Well, we know we've still got more work to do. To understand this inside-out nature of reality. And I have these insights on a regular basis where I see new things. That I have these aha moments. And it's almost like, how could I've not known that? It seems obvious afterwards. When you have an aha moment, I'm sure you've all had aha moments, when you have that aha moment it makes sense. It's like ah of course. How could I have not seen that? Well, that's the nature of insight. The nature of insight is the yeah, it seems obvious after you see it. But at the time it was difficult to see. We didn't have that level of appreciation or understanding of what was taking place. And it's those insights, it's those deep aha moments. Moments of awareness, moments of realising the true nature of what this life is about. It's those moments that's what it's about. And you can't always predict them, you can't always force them, you can't always just actively create them on demand. I create these moments with my clients when I'm coaching them, and I can't predict it. I'm guiding someone through their own mind and they'll eventually have a realisation, an aha moment. Maybe at a completely random moment, that you could've never predicted. Well, that's life. We go through life and there's going to be layers of illusion that just get peeled away from our experience. And that's the power of this inside-out approach. Is we can start to identify the illusion before it shows up as pain, before it shows up as a negative emotion. And I'll give you one more example before we finish up. Which is the emotion of sadness. Now, a classic one here is most people when we experience loss, the default meaning that we apply is as someone dies or as soon as something gets stolen or something goes missing, or as soon as something is no longer in existence or no longer in our possession. What we can do is we can label that, and judge that, as I'm now worse off. That was mine, we were attached to that. That was something that was so precious and something that was so special. Now that it's gone, my life is less. So we're seeing this as a penalty. We see this as victimhood, rather than opportunity. So when someone dies, you can either see that, and I'm not saying this is easy mind you, what I am sharing with you is when we actually master this, this is some gangster emotional spiritual control you can tap into. Is when someone dies, instead of seeing that as losing that person, you're actually seeing that as an acknowledgement of gratitude, of gain, of what you've actually gained in that moment. So this is just the nature of reality. You can either look at that and see loss or you can see gain. You could look at that as seeing is that being the end or that being the beginning. There are plenty of cultures that see death as a celebration. But there's also plenty of cultures that see death as a travesty, and the worst thing ever. What's changed? Just our perception, our generation of how we're creating and how we're perceiving that situation in the moment. So yes, I'm not saying any of this is necessarily really really really easy. It takes a bit of work, it takes practise. But it ultimately takes a commitment to being conscious of how we are creating our reality from the inside-out. And yeah, you can look at each of these situations and if any of these situations that have triggered you tonight, whether it be anger, or sadness, or guilt, or manipulation. If you experience any of those and you haven't quite got over those, well, they're still a trigger for you. All that it means is that you haven't quite understood the inside-out nature of that situation and how you were creating that event. Which is the reason why you're still experiencing that emotion. Because it just hasn't dropped yet. You haven't had that aha moment to have the understanding about how you caused it, how you created it. And it's when you look at it in a bit more detail and when you contemplate it through this lens of asking a question, how am I choosing to create my reality? When you deeply see it in that experience, you're able to purge and you're able to release the suffering. And that's what I realised from coaching thousands and thousands of hours of transformative coaching sessions. Is yes, there is always liberation and in some cases, it's just a simple matter of seeing the truth of what is there and just looking at it. So if you are experiencing any negative emotion, that's the key to moving out of what I call victim consciousness. It's asking the question, how did I choose to create that, or how am I choosing to create that? And that will take you out of suffering. It requires taking responsibility. It requires being empowered. It requires being willing and able to move beyond being the victim. It requires us choosing that we actually want to let go of that. And because for a lot of people what can happen is there is a lot of, what we call secondary gain, there is a lot of juicy payoffs for people holding onto that negative emotion. Because if you're holding onto that negative emotion, well, you get attention, you get to be the victim. You get to be the one that's justified. You get to be self-righteous. You get to be in the right. You get to not have to take responsibility for moving on and making new choices. Maybe getting on with things. So you get to live in the past. You get to stay stuck. You get to play small and you don't have to take any risks. You can just complain, and just stay where you are. Which is a very very safe place to be, victim. Being a victim is very very safe and it's actually quite easy 'cause you don't have to do anything. You can just feel sorry for yourself. That's what I realised, and that's what I was doing in a lot of different dimensions of life. So once you become aware of what's available after victimhood. It's quite apparent, because what's available after victimhood is you become the hero. You become empowered to create your destiny. You become the one who sees through the illusion of suffering and lets it go. And you step into a more empowered version of your future. And you just start paying attention to the things that aren't serving you. And you can then place your attention on the things that do serve you. So I'm going to finish that episode there on that note and enjoy the contemplation, enjoy asking that question. How am I choosing to create that? Or how did I choose to create my reality? So that in a nutshell, that is how you can hack your reality. How you can change your problems, how you can change your perceptions from the inside-out. And yeah, thanks, Sherl, we always have the power of choice. No one can ever take choice away from us. That's one thing we will never ever lose, is the power of conscious choice. That's just the nature of this human experience is we have a choice about how we wannna react to things. It might not necessarily be easy, it might not be so simple, it might be challenging, but that's the truth, is we always have the power of choice. Even when we aren't aware that we have choice. It's simply unconscious choices that are being made. That we're not necessarily doing with full volition. But there's still a choice that's being made, and it's the choice that's being made inside of our consciousness. We can't point the finger at anywhere else but back at ourselves. And it's not blame, it's not judgement , it's not saying who's to blame. The concept here is not blame, we're talking about responsibility. Who is responsible? And say, well, I'm responsible. That means the ability to respond. It's not who's at fault. It's even less about who caused it. It's more about well, what do I want to do about that now that I'm experiencing it, and how do we change it? How do we move forward? How do we get on with things? So thanks guys for tuning in. Trust you guys have gotten value from that little share tonight. And for those that haven't already jumped on my mailing list, I've got a VIP mailing list, where I send out a weekly newsletter with some of the most advanced insights that I get from my coaching practise from life, so I send that out so if you'd like to get up-to-date insights, please jump on the VIP newsletter. And you're going to get some gold there, also for those that are on Instagram, jump on Instagram and follow me there @chrisjacksoncoaching and also for those that want to watch YouTube, there's content on YouTube as well. So Chris Jackson Coaching on YouTube as well. Wishing you guys a beautiful evening. Thank you again for tuning in. Look forward to speaking to you guys again soon, and also for the coaches that might be tuning in here. I'm running a event in Perth coming up, in another two-weeks time. Which is on the 27th, on the Saturday of the 27th of July. For anyone who wants to understand how to be a transformative coach. Anyone who wants to understand the mechanics behind what I do. It's really actually quite a simple process. It's not easy but it's simple. So for those that are interested in learning about transformative coaching, there's a full day training that I'm running coming up. I'll drop a link here that you can see. You can get yourself a ticket. I've only got 20 spots available. It's going to be very intimate, very powerful training for those that are wanting to have a deeper understanding of the inside-out nature of our consciousness. It's so many levels beyond of what I've trained before. It's beyond, for those that are familiar with concepts like NLP, hypnosis, time line therapy, those sorts of different modalities. This training is so far more advanced than any of that, it's going to blow your mind. I no longer train people really in modalities like NLP, or hypnosis or time line therapy. Simply because I found something more powerful, more simple, something more elegant and this is the nature of what I talk about. This is the nature of what I train. And the conversation, what I've been sharing with you tonight, is also the inside-out approach. So if it resonates with you, if you'd like to learn how to be a transformative coach. And it's not even necessarily if you want to be a coach. If you want to understand how to create transformation just through conversation, just like this. This has been a transformative conversation. And on some level you will had some insight or some aha moment. Some deepening of your sense of truth. Well for those of you that resonate with that, whether you want to be a a better professional human being, a leader, a parent, mom, dad, husband, wife, or a coach. You're going to find incredible value in that training. So I'll drop a link there. And for those that are interested, as I've said we've got 20 spots. I think we've sold half already, so there's 10 spots left, and if you resonate with wanting to learn more about the mechanics of what I do and how incorporate this in your life, or your business, or your coaching practise, then you're going to absolutely love it. Because it's going to be one of the most advanced yet simple trainings I've ever delivered in my life. Looking forward to presenting that and yeah, that's all for tonight. Wishing you guys a beautiful evening, thanks for tuning in. Thank you, everyone as always, lots of love. I'll speak to you guys again, next week. Bye for now.