THE MISSING INGREDIENT TO GOAL SETTING
- Hello everyone. Happy Tuesday, welcome back to another episode of Transformation Tuesday. Good to have you here and tonight's episode is all about the missing ingredient that we all need to achieve our goals faster and easier. When I discovered the missing ingredient that I'm going to share with you tonight, my whole approach to goal-setting changed. Instead of me seeing like goals were this thing I had to hustle and work hard for, and instead of me feeling pressured like I needed to be productive and accountable and work, work, work, what I realised was that I was making things incredibly difficult for myself and a lot harder than I needed to. So I'm excited because I get to share with you what I wish I knew when I first started on goals, and if you're like me, you'll realise that creating our life the way that we want it to be, that's goals. Manifesting our life the way that we want it to be, that's creating our goals. It's bringing our dreams into our existence. So that's what we're talking about tonight. How do we do that simpler and easier? And the missing ingredient that I'm talking about is intention, and so what I'm going to be sharing with you is what is intention, why is it important, how do we use it, how do we incorporate it with goal-setting, and how do we use it such that it makes our life a lot easier, so that we magnetise the things that we want to attract into our life, rather than feeling like we've got to beat it by force. So that's what I'm going to be sharing with you tonight. Welcome Monica, great to have you here. First of all, I want to talk about conventional goal-setting, so we build out an awareness of the contrast. Conventional goal-setting, as I got taught when I first got into personal development, was all about smart goals. Which, if you're familiar with smart goals, it's about being specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound. So there's these five parameters that we're, it's a very logical, very analytical approach to goals. Which, to a degree, it works. But it's kind of a bit lame. It's a bit dry. It doesn't really have a lot of inspiration behind it. It's very methodical and it's, I guess you'd say it's kind of an engineer's approach to goal-setting. And I want to introduce a far deeper concept that goes beyond just using our analytical mind and beyond just the left brain. I want to start using the right brain. We want to start tapping into inspiration. And we want to start tapping into the authentic spark that's inside of us. And we want to bring together inspiration and enthusiasm and authenticity, and our x factor, into this concept that I call, well I'm going to call intention. Our intention is the powerful ingredient where we infuse that into our goals. Our goals go from this being lifeless, dry, achievement for the sake of achievement type criteria, and it now turns it into us manifesting and creating our dreams in a very inspiring way. Hey Monica. So conventional goals, they miss a sense of aliveness. They miss a sense of inspiration. And so that's what we want to inject into our goals because I don't know about you but I had a list of goals for a long period of time and some of those goals were inspiring. But some of them just seemed like they were just a target, just a number on a page, and there's a lot of people that I work with where, when we first start working together, and I can relate 'cause I used to be one of these, I had a target around wanting to earn more money. And most people can relate to wanting to earn more money. Let me know, if you're on the call, if you can relate to wanting, at some degree, wanting more money. Who wouldn't want more money? And so what a lot of people do is they create a goal around creating more money for themselves. Now what can happen is, because that's just a number on a page, it misses a sense of what it's all about. And for some us, we see it's like just this, it's just this insurmountable challenge or just this target of I've just got to get there, I've just got to achieve this. And, for a lot of us, it misses the essence of why that's special, why that's important. Why we actually care about that. And that's where this why, this energy, our way of being, which is intention, that's why this is so important. Because if we just have a goal that's just a number on a page, well there's no enthusiasm. There's no driving force. There's no why. There's no compelling reason, there's no deep energy inside of us that's going to magnetise and pull that into our experience. So it makes it very very very much like hard work. Like trying to beat something into shape. And so what we need to do is we need to realise that we've got to take all the things we want to create in our life, whether it be earning more money or starting or creating a better business, growing a business, being in a fulfilling relationship and being healthier. Whatever your aspirations are for your life, well, we've got to start to crystallise those by infusing them with intention. That's the missing ingredient and that's what I realised because I had so many goals that I was looking to create, but there was not a life force in it. It was just literally, I would look at my goals and it was just a page. It was just a page of things. Earn more money. Travel to this place. Do this, do, do, do. It was all just doing. And there wasn't a lot of being. It's the being that's important. And that's the distinction I want to build out for you here, when we're talking about what's the missing ingredient, which is intention. And the missing ingredient really comes down to understanding why goals don't work. And the reason why conventional goals don't work is because if we don't have a great enough vision, if we don't have a great enough sense of purpose behind the goal, well, we're not going to get over the challenges that are naturally going to come across our experience. We're going to need to develop skill, knowledge, experience, move through challenges, connect with people. Acquire resources, learn, expand ourselves, grow, move beyond our fears. There's going to be a lot of new things, new uncertain elements of our ourselves we're going to need to develop, in order to create something that we've never experienced before. For example, if you're running a business and you wanted to grow a business, well, if you wanted to grow a business well you're going to have to learn a lot of new things that you didn't know before. So to manifest that goal, there's a lot of ingredients that are coming together, and there can be a lot of challenges that go along with that. So we need to be prepared to have a really really big why, a big intention for the reason why something's important, to actually help us energetically feel aligned and inspired to create that, otherwise it's going to be hustle, it's going to be hard work, and it's not going to be much fun. So when I realised that I didn't really understand this concept of intention, what I realised was that all of my goals were missing soul. They were missing a sense of deep inspiration. They just lacked that je ne sais quoi, that life force that was just missing it. And I didn't realise why creating my goals was so difficult, and that was why. It didn't have any intention behind it. Now when I say intention, what I'm talking about here is our beingness. Our intention is this internal quality of how we're showing up. It's an internal process. Intention is how we're showing up, our beingness. For example, we are either being loving. We are being generous. We are being enthusiastic. These are the qualities that we are deciding to demonstrate, which is from inside of us. So that's the first thing we need to recognise is, an intention is something that's coming from inside of us. It's our source of inspiration. So our intention is our reason, our why. Our energetic motivation. A feeling state. It's a state of being. Now if you're missing that feeling state, that state of being that's a driving force behind a goal, well the goal is going to, it's going to happen, but it's going to take a lot longer. It's going to be a lot more hard work because it's missing your state of being, your life force. And think about it this way. Let's just say if you set yourself a goal to earn a million dollars a year, hey Charmaine, hey Barbara. Good to see you guys here. Say you set yourself a goal of earning a million dollars a year. But it's just written like that. I want to earn a million dollars a year. Well, for a lot of people, that's just a number. Doesn't mean anything. There's no meaning behind it. Yes, if you imagine that, if you actually visualise what that would be like, you might visualise spending that money, going away travelling, having more time with your family or friends. You'd start to create a bit of a movie trailer. You can start to create a movie trailer in your mind and you can start to visualise and get a feel for what that experience would be like, which creates more inspiration. It creates more motivation. Now what I've just shared with you is an extension, or part way moving towards an intention, which is just taking a number on a page, which is just very black and white and very mathematical, to now infusing it with some humanity, with some inspiration, which is now starting to feel what's that going to be like. So that's the first step, you're starting to feel what is that like. Starting to create some pictures. Create a bit of a movie trailer in your mind about, well, what does that goal represent in terms of the feeling, seeing, the hearing, the actual experiential. So that's the first step. Then, in addition to that, you want to start to know, well, on the path to creating that goal, which is simply an outcome. A goal is just simply an outcome that happens as a result of doing certain things over time. Importantly, being and then doing, and that's what I'll get to in a moment. The goal is just simply a circumstance that happens as a result of a series of activities. That's all a goal is. It's just simply a circumstance that will happen at some point in the future. The way that I would recommend that you approach that coming into your existence, is by setting an intention whereby, in each moment, when you're working on the journey to create that goal, you are deciding how you want to show up. You are choosing what is the aspect, what are the characteristics, what are the virtues, what is the feeling state of being you want to bring through in that moment, to bring that goal to life. Such that you might know that that goal's going to take you a year. And so if you're just looking at the end game, and you're now just looking at what's going to happen at the end, well, you might be thinking gee, that's a lot of effort to get to feeling that way in a year's time. What's a far better way of being is in the moment, each day, when you're working towards that, you're reminding yourself about how you want to be, on the journey to the destination. So the intention is really about embracing more of the journey, rather than the destination. The goal is the destination. The intention is your philosophy on the journey. And when you bring that intention with you, well you turn a simple goal or an outcome, you turn it into something that has inspiration and motivation and now lights it up for you. So the intention is your way of being, it's how you want to show up, in each and every moment, on the pursuit towards the goal. So the goal is in the external. The goal is just the thing out there. But the intention is the thing inside of you. The intention is how you're choosing to show up. It's your state of being. So a goal would be, I want a million dollars. An intention would be, I want to be a millionaire. I want to feel abundant. And so that intention is the energy that you're bringing to the task. It's the energy that you're bringing to your activities, which now takes this out of the realm of just doing for the sake of doing, and it's now doing from a place of being. And what you'll actually find is when you tap into the way of being, the doing almost becomes automatic. The doing becomes a natural consequence of the being. When you're in that elevated state of being, the doing is quite effortless. The doing becomes easier. If you're not in that elevated state of being, well you've got to do things by force. You've got to push things. You've got to work hard. When there's no inspiration, well yeah, it feels like you're pushing something uphill rather than coming downhill. So that's the distinction around the difference between a goal and an intention. Now what I recommend is you actually infuse the two together. Goals and intentions, they come together and they work hand in hand, because if you're just looking at the outside, if you're just looking at the circumstance or the goal, it doesn't have any inspiration. If you're just looking at an intention, well it's great because you now know how to be in the moment. But it kind of lacks a bit of directional focus. So the best of both worlds is when you bring an intention together with a goal, combined the two energetically. And what you're now left with, you're left with a goal infused with an intention, which now has clarity and certainty and it's quite specific, and you now have an underlying force of inspiration that now couples and combines with that. Now you've got a very very powerful force. Now you have a sense of certainty, combined with inspiration, which means you're going to experience that goal easier and faster. So how do we do this, what's an example. Well, the example that I want to use is millionaire. I want to be a millionaire, I want to be abundant. That's the energy of intention. That's the energy of how you want to feel. Maybe also part of that, you might want to feel like burning money or bringing wealth into you is fun. So you might set an intention that I want to be wealthy, I want to be abundant. I want to add value that's fun, in a way that's authentic to me. So you can start creating these intentions and then you start adding it to the goal which is I want to create a million dollars, or I want to earn a million dollars, and I want to do it in such a way that I'm having fun. That I'm adding value. That I'm feeling authentically being of service. Other people love receiving my service or my product, whatever that happens to be. I'm adding value to the economy. I'm helping people. And I'm having a blast in the process. So, again, you see how that's a little bit different than just saying I want to earn a million dollars by 31st of December. You get the contrast. When you truly understand the notion of intention, and intention is quite a deep topic. Intention has many many facets and it's something that deepens, the more that you explore it. But as a very minimum, if you start setting an intention for your day when you wake up, you'll find you now have a state of being that you're reminding yourself of how you're showing up. If we're not reminding ourselves of what our intention is, which is simply where we're placing our attention. If we're not reminding ourselves of what our intention is, well our intention just becomes where have we happened to randomly place our attention upon. So we can get distracted. Things can happen randomly and we can forget what our intention was. Whereas, we remind ourselves of intention and I recommend things like setting reminders on your phone. Putting sticky notes around the place. Putting post-it notes, signs up around the place, creating rituals for yourself. There's lots of tools that you can use to remind yourself of the power of intention. You can supercharge your intention through practises like visualisations and meditations. And various mindfulness practises. So there's lots of tools that I teach my clients when we go into the space of how do you set a deeper intention. Well, yeah, there's a lot of really powerful tools where this goes beyond an intellectual process, and it's actually a full embodiment. You actually feel, in every cell of your body, that state of being. And that's when you tap into the highest level of intention. So that's just a little bit about how you can combine intention with goal-setting. And this makes a big difference because if you're looking at your goals, and I'd love to know if you guys watching have goals, 'cause I know that not everyone has goals. I know that only about 3% of the population actually have clear written goals. And so you might be one of the 3%, or you might not be. But either way, if you haven't got any goals this is what I'd say, it's probably a great time to start. And the starting point, I would recommend the starting point really is getting clear on what's important to you. What are the goals in your life that you actually want to create? So you don't want to just create a list of goals just for the sake of it, just so you can say great, I've ticked the box, I've got goals. I'm a professional human being because I've got goals now. It's not about that. It's really, it's starting with your vision for your life and saying what do you want to create for your life. What do you want to manifest? What do you want to bring into your life? What do you want to enrich your life with? That's what this conversation is really about. And then the goals is just simply a specific list of those projects that you want to embark upon, that are going to help you live your vision. So your goals are simply a step in a planning process, to help you get better clarity on and have greater support structure around you manifesting the life that you want. Now, you don't necessarily need goals, but, in my opinion, in my experience, goals are a great reminder. They're a great focus point. They're a great support structure to remind us of what we want. And, I don't know, if you're anything like me you can probably relate to life can get busy sometimes. There can be a lot of different things going on. A lot of obligations, a lot of responsibilities, a lot of things we've got to do. And if we don't have, or we don't place a level of attention upon what we want to create, which is simply our vision, our goals, and place attention upon that, well the chance of that happening becomes less likely. So really, what this is about, this is about placing attention upon the things in our life we want to create. And what you place attention upon, you generally are going to increase the chances of creating that. And what we're talking about here is goals as a framework, it's a structure, it's a support process. That means that there's less spinning plates in the air. There's less randomness to distract us from what we wanted to create. It's the same as when you go to the shopping centre if you want to buy a long list of things. If you have a list, it means there's less things you have to remember. It means you have an ordered sequence of things which means great, one less thing I've got to attend to. So now that you have a list there, that means that you don't have to place attention on remembering all those things, less spinning plates. You can now place your attention upon something more important. So it's the same with goals. When you develop clarity around your goals it means that you've now invested this time and energy into a bit of a plan, a bit of a blueprint. Not for the perspective of making it rigid and too structured, that you can't deviate from that, but what it means is there's less attention you need to place upon that, because you've got it written down, which means you have more attention to place on the actual implementation and execution of creating those goals. So, this isn't creating structure and rigidity for the sake of it. This is helping us place our attention upon something in a way that's going to be of service to us. The way I would also approach goals is I recommend creating your goals in such a way that when you read them, it really lights you up. It really inspires you. If you have goals on your list that don't bring a smile to you, don't bring you a sense of aspiration, well you've got to check in to see is that really a goal that you want. Is it something that is really in alignment with you? Now, maybe it is in alignment with you but the way that it's written just doesn't inspire you. I've done that before. And so when you infuse an intention inside the goal, and when you write it in such a way so that it inspires you, well, it becomes a beautiful thing. And I'll give you an example of how I supercharged my goals. And the way that I language my goals is I work with a lot of clients, and I used to have a goal of, you know, work with this certain number of clients. Whereas now it's more like, yeah I want to work with clients and I want to earn a significant amount of money. But I want to work with clients who, they love hanging out with me. Where I get to spend time with amazing human beings. Where I get to be me. People love me for being me. I get to add value to them. They get to receive value. People love paying me. I love receiving the money. And in the process, I get to help someone transform their life. They get to help transform their life and everyone's a winner. And that's a beautiful experience. So, for me, now that I language my goal like that, it's like ah, beautiful. Every day when I wake up it's like yes, I'm living my dream. This is beautiful, this is what I want. Compare that to, oh I just want to earn a million dollars a year. Well, it doesn't quite have the same life force, the same energy behind it. So inquire, look inside your goals. Look inside them and inject them with the intention, with the energy, with the life force that's authentically you, and jazz them up. Make them so they resonate. Make them so that they feel special, so they bring you a sense of aliveness. Enjoy. Whatever the emotional states that are important to you. So I recommend really taking a closer look at them because if you've got a set of goals that don't resonate, well it's going to be hard. That's the word that comes up a lot of the time with a lot of clients that I work with. Oh, it's just so hard! Well yeah, if you don't have an intention. If you haven't got a greater why. If you haven't got an intention, a state of being that you're bringing to this, well yeah, it's probably going to seem hard. Most goals are probably going to seem hard if you've never created them before. Well, yeah, there's a lot of new things to learn. There's a lot of things to figure out. There's things to accomplish. There's challenges. There's all sorts of things you're going to have to move through and navigate beyond, to grow and to expand in order to create that goal. So yeah, the more audacious and the more bold your goal is, yeah, you can expect more of a challenge that you're going to have to overcome. Even more important, even more importance is brought to this conversation around why intention, is something that's going to help you on this journey. So that's just a little hack but, not just a little hack but a big hack. It's a little hack in terms of just infuse your goals with some intention and watch it transform. But at the same time, it's just a little modification but it makes a transformational difference in how you see bringing your vision to life. So try it on. Write your list of goals. If you already have a list of goals, rewrite them with intention. Write them in a way that it lights you up. Write a statement, when you read it, and read it, it should make you at least smile. At least bring you joy and happiness. That's what your goals should do. And if they're not doing that, well, I would suggest you need to reevaluate them and rewrite them and re-envision them and perhaps maybe reinvent yourself, so those goals now stand out. So they now bring you a sense of inspiration. So I wanted to keep it short and sweet and really just keep it very focused on how you can really transform your approach to goal-setting. So take it, apply it. Notice how your goals now feel differently. And you should never have a list of goals in front of you that just don't resonate with you. If they just don't resonate it means you need to look at them again. You know, they need to change your perspective. You need to revisit it. You might need to create a new movie trailer, a new imagined vision of that goal in your mind, such that you connect with it energetically, spiritually, emotionally. That's what we're talking about here. So I recommend revisiting those goals, re-injecting that intention and just noticing how they all shift. And watch how your goals will just start to more effortlessly come into your experience. That's what I've personally noticed and that's what I've noticed with all the clients that I work with, once they change their approach. Because life doesn't have to be hustle, it doesn't have to be hard work. It doesn't have to be this complex, grinding approach to life. And I would recommend, when you look at the, I guess we would say when you chunk down your goals, when you chunk down on your goals you're going to see a series of sub-tasks that need to be executed as well. Those sub-tasks, also, need to have intention. Everything you are doing during your day, when it's done with intention, it transforms. Instead of just doing for sake of doing, it's doing from a place of being. It's tapping into an inspired state of being, which action naturally arises. It's where the doing happens automatically. More automatically, more easier, faster. So that's one of the little hacks that's transformed my approach to goal-setting. My crystallisation of the vision of my life is enhanced significantly. And my whole world has transformed, just because of this little one distinction, this one understanding. So, yeah, it's worth taking a closer look at. That's all for tonight on Transformation Tuesday. Thank you guys for tuning in. I trust you guys have got value from tonight. Every single episode here, I really enjoy sharing this time with you, to share with you the nuggets that I've learned on the journey, and helping you save time and energy. Giving you what I believe works. So thank you for tuning in. Thank you everyone. And for those of you that are in the Perth area, or able to travel to Perth, I'm running a training coming up in a couple of weeks time for anyone who might be interested in becoming a transformational coach, or learning the skills of being a transformational coach. The skills of understanding of what I do, how I do it. I'm not some kind of special guru, I'm just a guy that's just learned some cool tools of transformation that just work. So if you'd like to learn more about what I know and how I do it and perhaps bust some of the myths around that you need to be this incredibly clever and amazing guru to be a coach, or to create transformation in other humans, it's just not true. The most important skill that you need is just simply caring about another human being, being present, and being willing to learn and being willing to take responsibility for applying just what works. So if anyone in Perth is interested in coming along to that training, that's on Saturday 27th of July, and that's a full day event from nine till three o'clock. The tickets are only $197, and this is going to be a very very powerful workshop where I'm going to be giving you the download on what I believe are the most transformational aspects of coaching that I was never taught. I was just never shown in my journey of studying hypnosis, timeline therapy, NLP. Even my time with Tony Robbins at all of his seminars and different modalities. Spent hundreds of thousands of dollars learning and I'm pleased to share with you what I believe is the most important aspects of transformational coaching, in a full day. So, yeah, I'm going to be sharing some things that I've never shared with anyone before because I think it's now time for me to start sharing this with coaches, because people need to know this information. And I was never shared a lot of this when I first started my journey, so it's really important that I pass on this information. Help train other coaches so they have the tools that go beyond modalities like NLP, go beyond modalities like conventional goal-setting. Go beyond things like time management. We're talking about a deeper, more transformational way of being. So for those that resonate, for those that want to take their level of understanding of transformation, human behaviour and psychology, and just creating results in clients. If you want to take that to a bigger level, hey Johnny, good to see you. If you want to take your impact with clients to a far deeper level, well, yeah, I'm pleased to say that I've now evolved far beyond most of the content that I learned in my first three or four years of my journey, and it's now a completely radically different approach to transformation. And when you get these tools, when you understand the deeper nature of transformation, you don't need techniques. You don't need tools. You don't need processes. You don't need to do the five steps to such and such, because you empower a client with a far deeper understanding of how their mind works. Of how we work. And it's a really really powerful space to be in. So, for those that resonate, we've still got, we've actually got, I think we've sold half the tickets, so there's a couple of weeks to go. So if you resonate with wanting to learn more about what I do and a transformational approach to your coaching that's going to completely revolutionise how you do things, then you're going to love this training. I'll drop a link here below so you guys can grab the tickets, and I look forward to seeing you guys next Tuesday. Thanks for tuning in guys. As always, lots of love. I'll see you again soon, bye for now.