HOW TO REINVENT YOURSELF
- Hello everyone and welcome back to Transformation Tuesday. I've just had a couple of weeks off, travelling over to the USA for Burning Man. And I've come back with a lot of inspiration, with a lot of amazing great new ideas. And bit of a reinvention of who and what I am. And I'm excited to share that with you tonight, which is, how do you reinvent yourself? How do you create your own on going transformation? And reinvention is, I think, is a really important topic, that we all need to consider. Because if we don't reinvent ourselves, if we don't renew and upgrade our sense of self and who and what we are. Well, we can become stale, we can get stuck in old patterns. We can get stuck in the past, and I think this is a really important conversation that every human being needs to have. Which is how do you reinvent yourself? What are the questions you ask yourself? What are the tools that you ask yourself? G'day Heidi, good to have you here. What are the processes you can take yourself through to renew, refresh, to upgrade your sense of identity. Your sense of perspective in the world. And so I'm going to be sharing with you my approach of how I go through the process of reinvention. To give you some ideas about how you can apply this for your own life. And I've just come back from a couple of weeks away in America. And for those that aren't familiar with Burning Man. It's an incredible experience. It's a celebration of individuality, of self expression, of community. And for me it represents transformation. Burning Man is a gathering of about 75,000 people, in the desert, in dust storms in incredible, intense heat. With bright sunshine. And it really is a vortex of transformation. It's a space where you place yourself. And it really is a container for which transformation takes place. In the sense of your sense of identity dissolves. Who you are in the outside world, disappears when you enter this space. You become a new identity. It's a judgement free space where you're free to walk around in costumes or without costumes, completely naked. It's a space that is just undefined. And so it's an amazing opportunity to really expand your sense of self, and to really challenge all the paradigms through which we've grown up in. In our upbringing through our parents, from society, from our school system, from our education system. And start to really challenge everything that we've accepted to be right and wrong and true and false. So, Burning Man, for me, is one of these opportunities where I go each year to reinvent myself. It's a place where I stretch my sense of identity. And I give myself permission to explore and expand into parts of my, I guess you'd say different ways of being. That I wouldn't normally give myself permission to express. In normal civilization, in normal society. So I've come back from Burning Man with a large part of my identity, having fallen away. When I say identity, this is a big topic, and for those that are interested in understanding more about the identity or the ego. You'll appreciate some of my earlier episodes on the ego, and essentially our identity is simply who we believe that we are. Our identity is those things that we attach to, as what we believe that we actually are, as our sense of self. So think of it like this, we have our consciousness, which is like a container. What happens inside our consciousness, is we have experiences, thoughts, feelings and either those thoughts and feelings that we attach to, and place a level of value and significance upon, that determines who we believe that we are. So we have pure consciousness that now gets infused with thought and feeling. And now that consciousness now takes the form of us, having a senses of our own separate sense of self. So we have pure consciousness, and all of a sudden now we have thoughts, we have these feelings. And we now become a separate, isolated entity. We now become an individual with a vantage point. With a perspective. And we hold onto those thoughts, those feelings and that information, 'cause that's all thinking is. Thought is just simply information. We attach to that information, and we cling on to it. And it becomes us, so we identify with thought. We identify with patterns, we identify with character traits. We identify with a whole lot of things as being us. When we start to master life, what starts to happen is our sense of identity gets loosened up. So instead of us clinging on to this idea of, I am this, like I'm a nice person, or I'm generous, or I'm kind, or I'm loving. We let go of that and we recognise, well I can be that and I can be this, and can be that and I can be a bit frustrated or I can be angry or I can be loving, I can be kind, I can be generous. I can also be very conceited, I can also be very judgemental. I can be all of these parts, all these spectrums, or ways to being. I can be all of those, and what we now start to do is we now start to loosen our sense of who and what we are. When I say loosen it, we loosen our grip on our sense of certainty of this is what I am. I have to be this, I need to be this, I must be this, which is a fear based attachment to, I have to be this. And what we allow to happen is we start to let that go and we now give ourselves permission to surrender. To say, well, maybe I'm not that. Or maybe I am that, but I'm not just that. Or maybe I am that, but it's not important anymore. And so it becomes less and less important. And so what I personally found is; on this journey of awakening. When we wake up to the true nature of what we are, which is pure consciousness, at the core of it. At the deepest level, we are pure consciousness, having this human experience, where we have these moments where we feel like that thought that we're having right now, is me. Like it is real. When we have a thought, it is simply information passing through our consciousness. That's really what thought is. It's like information, it's like a cloud floating through the sky. A cloud floating through the sky is not the sky. The cloud is just the weather, it's temporary. And so our thoughts that are also temporary, our sense of identity is also temporary. So how does this tie into reinvention. Well this ties into reinvention, because when we reinvent ourselves, what we're doing is we're allowing our identity to fall away. Just like a snake sheds it's skin. We also allow parts of our identity to just fall away. To crumble, because we realise that what we thought we were, was just simply an old thought pattern. It's something that we subscribed to at some point back in the past. Whether it might have been the day that we were born, or it might have been our seventh birthday, it might have been the day that your mother or father died, or the day that they broke up. Our sense of identity is formed by a series of defining moments in our past, that now informs us about who we think we are. Now that's just thought. Our sense of identity's constantly being updated. And when you reinvent yourself, you allow part of that to die. You allow part of that to evolve, just like the snake that sheds its skin. Just like the caterpillar that weaves itself a cocoon and then turns into a butterfly. We can do the same thing as a human being. We can allow a huge part of our sense of identity to die, to fall away, to move beyond that. And that is the process of reinvention. Whether you want to call that metamorphosis, transformation, evolution, reinvention, this is what we're talking about here. We're talking about reinventing who you are. And I think a key distinction here, is the acknowledgment of who we are, is simply measured in comparison to others. The who is simply, who am I in relation to you. Who are you, you, you, how we're all different. What are your character traits, what are my character traits, the who we are, is simply comparison about either we look different, we behave differently. It's the comparison. And it's largely determined by how others perceive us. So your sense of your identity, the who you are, is largely governed by what people think about you. How people judge you, how people interact with you. How people treat you, how people converse with you. Whether someone puts you on a pedestal or not. Whether someone admires you, or judges you. That is determining a large part of our identity. Because we are being informed of who we are, the comparison to others, by others. So it's a comparison process that's taking place. Now I want to encourage us to move beyond the who. The who is the identity. The who is just a series of thinking patterns that we have subscribed to, that we've become so familiar with that we've just simply attached to, well that's just who I am. I'm just this collection or cluster of thought patterns. And this series of behavioural patterns. I want to encourage us to move beyond the thinking patterns, into the, instead of the, who we are, the what we are. What we are, which is pure consciousness, at it's core. I just got a question there, from Heidi. "When you reinvent yourself, "do you choose what you want be?" It's a very good question. And this ties into what I was just saying. About the what we are, as oppose the who we are. The what we are, is pure consciousness. The what we are, is connection with source energy. The what we are, is energetic. We are energetic beings at our core. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. So the human aspect is vital, like the identity, also known as the ego, that's the interface through which we enact or interact with the world. That's vital, that's the interface through which we're having this human experience. And there's nothing wrong with having an identity, having an ego, that's part of the gig. That's part of the game. The trouble is, or the trick is not buying into that as being all that we are. That's part of the game, that's part of the dream. It's part of the experience of life, is waking up to the true nature of what we are, which is beyond the identity. It's waking up to a more truer version of what we actually are, which is pure consciousness. It's the what we are. It's the energetic signature of what we actually are, underneath the flesh, behind the flesh, behind the physical. And so to keep this tangible and to answer your question there Heidi, is when you reinvent yourself. We have to acknowledge that everything that we thought we were, we have made up at some point. Everything that you think you are now, you have made up. Now that's not a problem, or a judgement . That's just true. Everything that you think you are, you have created that at some point. You've subscribed to that. Hey Matt, good to see you here, hey Katrina, good to see you there as well. Everything that we think we are, we've subscribed to. There's a story, there's a narrative that we've been telling ourselves, that who I am. That I'm a good person or a bad person, or I'm intelligent, or not intelligent. I'm going to be successful, or not successful. I'm loving, I'm not, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. We tell ourselves these stories, and these are all just thinking patterns which, when we believe these, when we buy into these thought patterns. When we value that thinking, so much, it becomes us. And so we have that thought, and we value it so much, that, that thought now occupies us. So it's like we grab the thought and we put the thought glasses on, and we're now viewing our reality through these lenses, and it's like we're now viewing this reality as if it's real. Well it's not actually real, it's just a thought. It's a thinking process that we've gone through. That we've had those thought glasses on for so long, that we've forgotten that we were dreaming. We've forgotten that we've put this construct around our life. And this is where the reinvention process really kicks in. Is when we realise, that everything that we think we are, we've made up. Everything that we think we are, we've made up. Now that's great, because at the same time, we can also make up a new identity. We can evolve beyond the stories that we've told ourselves. We can evolve beyond what our parents told us, we could amount to, or what our teachers told us what we could amount to, or we can evolve beyond the belief systems of what society told us we should believe. Or what was right, and what was noble, and what was a good thing to do. So when we play in this space of reinvention, we actually start to need to recognise that all of the contents or our consciousness are made up. It's just made up. It's information passing through our consciousness temporarily. And we'd latch onto it, and we buy into it, and we think it's real, and we think we are that thought. And if we buy into it strongly enough, then we will build up a very, very, very strong sense of identity, that we'll cling to. And now that limits us. On some level, when we identify with something, it gives us some power, 'cause we feel like are something. But ultimately, if we identify with something, it's always eventually going to have a limitation. It's eventually going to hold us back. So again, if you subscribe to the idea of, let's just say that your are intelligent, if you subscribe to this idea that you're intelligent, well, on some level, potentially, when you get to that level of thinking, I'm intelligent, I'm intelligent, if you now get any evidence on the contrary, from your environment that says you're not intelligent. Well, all of a sudden, your whole sense of self is now being annihilated, because you're now getting evidence to say, oh gee, I got that wrong. I made a wrong decision. Gee, I maybe had a car crash, or maybe I got a divorce, or maybe I picked the wrong career, or something happened, I thought I was intelligent. All of a sudden your sense of identity is just crushed. Because all of a sudden you're now getting data that's now invalidating what you thought you were. That's an identity crisis. That's where all of a sudden, who and what you thought you were, just falls away. And all of a sudden it's like a part of you dies. Now that's an example of where you become so attached to something, that eventually everything we attach to, is going to fall away. Every person we're in a relationship with is eventually going to end. Every relationship will end, everything that we own will get de-possessed when we die. Everything that's unfolding in our experience, is temporary. It's transient. And we will eventually lose all of it. It will eventually die, it will all fall away. And our sense of attachment to that, just gets stripped away, and what we get left with, is an identity crises. Where our identity's now, all of a sudden we become someone totally different than what we thought we were. Or, all of a sudden, reality is so different and so removed from what we're expecting. That we're going to experience extreme suffering. Like, all of a sudden, we become a different person. Or life is just transformed. Or life is just totally different. Your life is never the same. And for those of you, that have experienced someone in your life, close to you, dying. That's a very, very good example of where you are attached to that person being in your life. And all of a sudden they're no longer there. That person is no longer in your life. Well, there is a huge part of you that you have lost. So again, that's now something being stripped away from you. So again, that's an example of identification, with another person as being a part of you. So to bring this back to some tangible examples about how you can reinvent yourself. I'm going to suggest that we start by actually evaluating what we think we are. And I invite you to write a list of all the character traits, and all the attributes, the things that you think you are. Like for example, you might think that you're courteous, intelligent, maybe you think that you're funny, or curious, or interesting. Maybe you think that you're enthusiastic, or passionate, et cetera. So are some of the virtues and some of the characteristics and character traits that I encourage you to list it. And the question you're asking is, how would I describe my characteristics. How would I describe my personality. How would I describe myself. And you'll come up with a big long list of those attributes. And for those of you that have done personality profiling tools, things like the Myers‐Briggs test, or the DISC test, these sorts of things. These give us a whole lot of descriptive terms, for who we think we are. But that's just conditioning. That's just belief systems. That's just what's happened in our past, that's informed us of who we think we are now. So, there's first of all, step one is an acknowledgement that's how we currently see ourselves. That's the thinking patterns, and habits that we've cultivated up until now. That give us our sense of who we are now. That's step one. To reinvent yourself, we have to realise that, well, we can be all shades of grey. We not only are enthusiastic, but we can also be boring. We're not only loving, but we can be incredibly fearful and judgemental. We have all aspects within us that we're capable of demonstrating inside of our psych, inside of our way of being. And so what we can now start to realise, is well, yes we are that list that we've just written, but, we also have access to so much more. And I encourage you to then look at the opposites of each of those aspects. So for example, if you've written down, I am enthusiastic. What's the opposite of that? Maybe it might be fear or it might be bored. Start to fill in to, what would it be like to be the opposite of that. Which would be bored. If you have an attribute there which is, you're incredibly intelligent, start to fill in, to what if the opposite was true. What if you were incredibly unintelligent? What if you were stupid. What would that mean for your identity? And you'll start to realise that we have now attached to a lot of these character traits, like we're clinging to them. As if they've become incredibly, incredibly important. And that these are the most important things. And that if I don't match up with that. Then I'm not a good human. Or I'm not worthy, or no one's going to love me. No one's going to care for me. Everyone's going to leave me, I'm going to be abandoned. And all of that's not actually true. These are just simply the thinking patterns, and the character traits, that we've attached to, that we've clung to. Because we think that that's who we need to be. Or we've been informed that that's who I think I need to be. Because if I'm that person, I'll be safe. I'll be loved. I will belong. I will be valued, I'll be successful. I'll be able to survive in this world. The identity, loves to cling to things that give us a sense of safety. That's the whole programme that we're talking about here. And this is why, reinvention is such a powerful, metmorphis-like process. Because when you reinvent yourself, you will detach from what you thought you were. You strip away those layers of identity, and you start to become more powerful, because all of a sudden, you're now not so defined. You're now not black and white. You're all the colours in the spectrum of the rainbow. You're all of the invisible wave lengths of light. Not just the ones that are visible. You can now start to broaden your sense of what you are. Moving beyond the who, to what you are, which is now far more expansive, far less attached to these specific requirements. And your sense of identity, becomes more fluid. You don't have to be this or that. You don't have to be black or white. You can hover in the middle. You can start to be more versatile. You can start to be less concerned with the opinions of others. Less attached to the idea of needing to be a certain character trait, or be a certain way. 'Cause you let it fall away and you think, well I'm that and I'm that. And I can be everything else in between. I'm not really attached to being more of that, or less of that. I'm just going to hover, and float between all of this, as I resonate with whatever happens in the moment. And how other people start to see me. How other people judge me or perceive me to be. Well, that's on them. And what happens with the reinvention process, is you start to care less about what someone else thinks of you. And you care less about what you think of you. Or what someone else thinks of you. Because we realise, that all the thinking, and all of our experience, in this human experience, is all made up. It's just thought after thought, after thought. And these thoughts, they're just coming in randomly. Some of them are true, some of them are not true. And the challenge comes, as a human, when we think that all those thoughts are true. Some of them are true. Some of them more true then others. Some of them, completely not true. But if we can't decipher, which thoughts are true and which ones are untrue. Well everything that passes through our consciousness just becomes the story. The truth. When it's not actually truth. It's just information. To help you take this to the next level. I invite you to look at the opposite of those attributes. Those character traits that you hold dearly. And imagine and start to try on the possibility, what if you are the opposite? What if you are the opposite of everything that you thought you were? Try it on. What if you were the opposite? Now this isn't an attempt to destabilise our sense of worthiness, or our ability to love ourselves. This is the opposite. This is actually getting us to step into a state of expansiveness and stepping into this space of just imagining that we are pure consciousness. And everything that's passing through my experience is transient. I'm making it up, it's thinking, it's information, it's all passing through my awareness. And I have moments from time to time where I get really sucked in to thinking that that thought, that's actually not true, I get sucked into thinking that that thought's true. Like, for example, we might have a thought that I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough as a human being. That thought floats in, and we attach to it. And we might buy into that thought for a day, or a week or a year, or maybe a whole life. And so this whole process of reinvention, it comes back, to realising that we are not our thoughts. That's the mantra I want to encourage you to remind yourself on a daily basis. Is that you are not your thoughts. You are not your thinking patterns. You are not the choices of your past. You are not the events of your past. You are not anything that has happened, at any time in your life. You are just simply pure consciousness right now. Having an experience through the mechanism of thinking and feeling. Coming into the body and creating this human experience. And beyond this human experience, the what we are. Well, that's infinite. That's infinite, pure consciousness. And yes, we can start to play with this. We can start to get incredibly creative with realising that our thinking is not necessarily true. We can start playing around with, having some pretty wild and wacky thoughts that give us a more expanded sense of what this reality is about. We can start to play with reality and it starts to fall away, and starts to be not quite be so rigid. Not quite be so serious. And so this process of reinvention is really starting to take a deeper look at, we are so much more than what we ever think that we are. And once we've started to recognise that we aren't necessarily what we think we are. We are pure consciousness. And what we've attached to, is what we think that we are. Once we've established that, we can then look to, well, what do I want to reinvent myself into? If I want to play with my identity, if I want to loosen it up even more. If I want to get even more creative. Well, what are some of the thinking patterns, what are some of the thoughts that I can let go off? This whole process of reinvention is letting go of what we thought we were. It really is about letting go. It's less about getting more, and it's more about letting go. 'Cause once you let go of those illusions or attachments to this sense of identity, what happens is you get freed up to play the game. To play the game of, well, I can be anything that I want. I can evolve into anything that I want. I can create a business, I can start a new career, I don't have to necessarily stick with that same job that I've been working at for all these years, because of the same story that I've been telling myself. We now free ourselves up, and we don't buy into the belief systems, and the stories that we've been told. We now start to realise that it's all made up. It's all actually a construction. And once we get that, and there are many levels to getting this. Once you get that it's all made up, everything that's happening inside your awareness is just you making up a story. This is the ultimate empowerment. It's the ultimate empowerment because you realise just how much of our limitations were self-imposed. Just how much of our limitations, we made up. We created, we bought into. But the empowering part about that, is that at any moment, we can also identify that, and drop it, and let it go. And that in itself, is a process. And that's what I'll be exploring more about in some of the upcoming episodes. That's one of the experiences that I had, while I was at Burning Man. Was my identity falling away. My sense of self, being annihilated. And it's a really special, incredible, transformative process. Where who you thought you were, is not actually who you realise you are. And there's a moment of sadness and grief and loss, because a part of you has died, and you've realised that that's not who you were. But now, all of a sudden, it's exciting and it's expansive because now you realise, there's so much more for you. You were buying into some limitations, or limiting beliefs or a limited sense of self. And all of a sudden, the caterpillar weaves itself a cocoon. And it turns into a butterfly. That's what's awaiting all of us. That's what's available for every human being. Should they wish to reinvent themselves. Should they wish to take a look at a level deeper into what's really going on inside our consciousness. Now for most people, this conversation is beyond the dinner table conversations that happen. This is a level of conversation that most people either don't understand, don't relate to, haven't experienced. And understandably, what we're talking about here, is quite a profound level of transformative coaching style conversation. But if you're up for transforming and reinventing yourself. This is the conversation to sort of hang out in. Because the more that you hang out in this conversation, around understanding how you let your identity transform, and it fall away. That's how you gain access to become more limitless. Because the limitations that we've inherited, they all come through thinking. They all come through identifying, with us being something and not something else. So this is the space to hang out in. This is one of the most powerful transformative conversations that you can be in. And if you're wanting to shift any part of your life, your business, your relationships, this is the space to play in, which is letting your identity dissolve. Letting who you think you are, letting that fade away completely. And what you get left with, is an expansive, far more powerful, far more fluid and I would also say, kind of unpredictable, sense of self. In a good way. Because we're no longer run by, so much by habits, and by conditioning. We get run more by the energetic expression of our soul coming through in the moment. Where we're honouring our sovereignty, and our free will, and our authenticity. And we're now being willing to float into play and to make more spontaneous decisions. Rather than the old habits of the past. So, this is a very special space to play in. And the questions that you're going to ask yourself are, what if you are something other then what you thought you were. What if you are not who you think you are? What if all the character traits that you think you have right now, what if you actually also have the opposite? What if you have all of them? What if you have none on them? What if all of this was just made up? And that everything you think you are, is just a thought? It's like a dream. It's like you've gone to bed and in the dream you're now a particular avatar, or a particular character. And you now wake up. You're now in the dream, and you now have all the limitations of that avatar. You have their limitations. Yes, you have their skill set, yes you have their capabilities, yes you have their super powers. But you also have the limitations of being that avatar. Now when you wake up from the dream, you realise that you're actually not that avatar. You realise you're not them. You actually don't have those limitations. That was just an illusion, well, this is what's happening in life. We are waking up from the dream of the identity. We are constantly awakening to a new or more expansive, pure version of ourselves, which is infinite, expansive, pure consciousness. And yes, I appreciate this conversation, for some people it might seem a little bit abstract. And it might seem, how do I relate to this? And this is a journey that has to be experienced. You have to go through a process of witnessing part of your identity falling away and dying. But the way to do that is recognising that the thoughts that we're attached to, the things that we think we must be, that's the clue. If we feel like we need to be a certain way, well we have an attachment to that. We've identified with that. And if we've identified with something so strongly. There is a fear based motivation that drives that aspect of ourselves. Because now we will shift heaven and earth to maintain our perception or maintain our sense of self, in alignment with that. For example, if you believe that you are incredibly honest. And if you believe that honesty so incredibly important, you are attached to honesty. Then if you ever tell a lie, or if you ever get tempted to tell a lie, there could be this incredible fear. And this incredible sense of, I'd be such a horrible human being, or I am a horrible human being, 'cause I wasn't completely 100% honest. And so what happens is we create this fear based motivation. We create this attachment to needing to be something, from a place of fear. From trying to uphold something that we feel is so incredibly important. When I'm going to suggest, it's not actually important to be that way. It's okay to be everything, every spectrum and every way of being. The cause of all suffering, is when we're attached to a particular way of being. And then all of a sudden, we start to operate in a different way, and we don't uphold that way, that modus operandus. That habit, that choice. The moment that we let that habit slip, or we don't uphold that, our reality comes crashing down. And we start to lose our sense of self. So this is just a little bit of an insight into to be careful about just what we've attached to. And what we think we are. Because we are so much more then we could ever imagine. And we're so much more expansive, then what we've given ourselves credit for. So, I'm going to leave it at that tonight guys. And I invite you to explore this concept. Of the what you are, more so than the who you are. And start to realise that beyond the identity, there is pure consciousness. There is our experience of pure consciousness. When you enter that space of pure consciousness. And when you view your life from, I am pure consciousness. Then inside my consciousness, one of the constructs that I experience is my identity. That then gives us the ability to wake up from the dream. To identify that we are in a dream and that we are awakening to a more pure sense of self. So, enjoy the dream, and also enjoy waking up from the dream. And I'm excited to share more on this topic, as we go through the journey. For those of you that are interested in taking this to a whole new level of mastery. Project Limitless, is my 12 week flagship programme that's commencing in a couple of weeks time. And Project Limitless is an absolute game changer, for someone who is wanting to shift their reality. If you're wanting to upgrade your sense of purpose. Thanks Rod, thanks Matt. If you want to upgrade your sense of purpose, your mission in the world, your career or your business. If you want to be more productive, if you want to have more fulfilling relationships. If you're wanting to wake up more inspired and enthusiastic. Tapping into the life force that is part of you. And so that you'd listen more the good voice. The voice inside that has your highest good at heart. That's the skills, that's the wisdom, that's what I'll be sharing in Project Limitless. So it's a very powerful vortex, a container, or transformation where I get to share all the most advanced concepts of transformation with you. In a very, very special, intimate, very small group. Over the course of 12 weeks. With an incredible degree of accountability and nurturing. Inside a community where we have weekly classes, weekly master classes, talking about what I believe are the most important transformation topics that exist in personal development. So taking what I share here on Transformation Tuesday, a whole lot deeper. And it gets a whole lot more intimate, and it gets a whole lot more transformational, and impactful. So if you are into being more productive, and waking up with a greater sense of purpose, certainty, drive, motivation, inspiration for what you wanted to create in your life, across the dimensions of relationship, business, career, health, everything. Then you are going to love this, because it's where I share my best work. If you're interested, send me a message, and I'd love to have a chat to you guys. I'll drop a link up here, to the landing page, if you're interested, yeah, check it out. Have a look, and if you've got any questions, send me your questions, and I'd love to answer them. Thank you for tuning in guys. It's been a pleasure as always. Lots of love, greetings again from Bali, and I look forward to chatting to you guys again next week. Happy Tuesday. Lots of love. See you guys, bye for now.