Chris Jackson Coaching

Letting go of Control is the Path to Love

Here are my thoughts on acceptance, allowance and being at peace with things outside of our control.

Firstly let’s look at what we have control over in life; only ourself. This is our beliefs, values, standards, rules, attitudes, and behaviour which leads to be able to influence some of the circumstances in our ‘sphere of influence’.
Being able to control another person’s behaviour or decisions is an illusion. We can sometimes “influence” another’s decisions through either love or manipulation, however we ultimately have no real control over their choices. Actually, the more we pressure someone and try to control them the more they will resist, and as they resist we push them away which builds resentment.

This is where compassion, trust and faith become ever so important, particularly in the context of relationships. The ultimate way to love and support a partner is through unconditional love, compassion and support, not through force, manipulation or making demands.

When there are circumstances we recognise to be outside of our control, we have 2 options:

  • Acceptance (Love)
    Acceptance begins with tolerance, which leads to allowance, acceptance, peace, which leads to love.
  • Rejection (Suffering)
    When we argue with reality we lose 100% of the time. Rejection of the truth of the situation leads to resistance, frustration, resentment, and ultimately suffering.

Responding with love is always a more resourceful way of dealing with life rather than choosing to suffer. We are free to consciously choose either love or suffering through acceptance or rejection of our circumstances.

It is not always an easy thing to do, it is certainly a skill that requires constant work on ourselves to master. But it’s worth the effort to come from a place of love.

Send love to your friends, send love to your enemies, and send love to others even when you don’t feel like it. Especially when you don’t feel like it.

As we begin to let go of control and send love to others this means we release ourselves from suffering.

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