Chris Jackson Coaching

Ep #15: Secrets to developing emotional mastery

Hey guys welcome to Transformation Tuesday. It\’s Chris Action Jackson coming to you. I love that, Chris Action Jackson. I trust you guys are having a great evening. And I\’ve just been having some incredible conversations today with clients about some of the biggest challenges that they\’re having in business and in life. And I\’ve been really inspired to share with you some of the principles, some of the guiding principles of how to go about life. How to go about business. How to do this thing we call life such that we extract the greatest amount of benefit. And start to create and rapidly accelerate our results in life. And because we all know that we want to create, most people want more money. We want greater quality relationships. We want to have more time. We want to improve so many different facets and different parts of our lives but some people just, they\’re missing some ingredients. They\’re missing some key principles. They\’re missing a couple of pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. So I wanted to instil and share with you some of the major principles that we need to embody and truly execute if we\’re wanting to be truly, deeply connected to ourself. And manifest and create the results we want in life. So let\’s dive in straight away. One of the major foundational elements that most people, and I say most, most of the clients that come to me for help and support, one of the biggest things that they\’re missing is discipline. Now when I say discipline this is the resolve to follow through. This is the ability to do something even when it\’s hard, even when it\’s difficult, even when it\’s challenging, even when it\’s not enjoyable. It\’s having the courage, it\’s having the tenacity and it\’s having the care factor to really be structured and be focused about what we\’re wanting to create. So that\’s the first thing. Because discipline is the key to freedom. Discipline is the key to creating the result that you want. For a lot of people the challenge they\’ve got is they want the freedom but they\’re not willing to put in the work. They\’re not willing to have the discipline that\’s going to create the freedom. So freedom is a downstream consequence. Freedom is an output. Freedom is a consequence of having discipline and having structure. So if we\’re missing the structure that means we\’re not going to have the freedom. If we don\’t have the discipline, we don\’t have the structure you\’re not going to be able to create the freedom. So this is incredibly important. So discipline is one of the master skills of life. When we have discipline, things go to a whole, completely whole other level in terms of business success and life success. The next aspect is caring about your life. You\’ve got to care so much about your life, care so much about your business, care so much about reality, about this thing we call life such that we approach life with a lens where we have so much compassion for self, we have so much enthusiasm for self, we have so much life force within us. So we\’ve got to care about life because this is all we get. There\’s nothing else, there\’s no other … Are you treating life like it\’s a grand final, like it\’s the World Cup final, are you treating life like it\’s a friendly match, like it\’s a warm up match, like it\’s a dress rehearsal. So we got to care so much about life such that we\’re willing to do whatever it takes. We\’re willing to put in the effort. We\’re willing and caring and so enthusiastic about life that we\’re willing to do whatever it takes. We are willing to get up in the rain at five in the morning and get out there on the track. We got to be willing and able and it starts with caring so much about life. The next aspect is self-belief. The reason why we need self-belief is because if we don\’t believe in ourself then it doesn\’t matter what we\’re trying to do it\’s going to be an uphill battle. So self-belief is probably the foundational skill that I would in fact, guarantee it. If you don\’t believe in yourself you\’re not going to be able to create the success that you want in your life or your business. If you don\’t believe in you, you\’re not going to be able to create the relationship you want. If you don\’t believe in abundance, if you don\’t create, if you don\’t have some fundamental beliefs about reality then it\’s very, very difficult to operate in this life and create success. Because you\’re going to manifest whatever you believe. Beliefs have this uncanny ability to produce. Beliefs create our reality. That\’s just the reality that we live in. Beliefs create our reality. So if you believe in abundance, you\’ll create abundance. If you believe in scarcity, you will create scarcity. If you believe in lack, you will create lack. If you believe that you\’re not good enough well you\’re certainly not going to pursue what you\’re looking for. If you believe that people are evil, if you believe that people are bad. Well that\’s what you\’re going to perceive. That\’s what you\’re going to create. So our beliefs are creating our reality. Now when you cultivate the highest degree, the highest level of self-belief that\’s when you become unshakable. That\’s when you have the highest degree of confidence and certainty in who and what you are. And for me, for example, I have an unshakable self-belief in what I\’m creating in who and what I am. And what I am capable of. So for me, my self-belief is the number one skill that I\’m cultivating on a daily, hourly basis. To transform and overwrite any of the living beliefs, any of the thinking patterns that have gotten in the way of me creating results. So that\’s self-belief. So incredibly powerful. The next aspect is we\’ve also got to be obsessed. We have to obsessed. Now when I say obsessed it means we got to be so connected to what we\’re passionate about and so connected in a sense of following through and learning and growing and really mastering our craft, whatever that is for you. Mastering your craft. But not just your craft, it\’s mastering everything. It\’s an attitude of mastery. We\’ve simply got to be committed to mastering our craft. To getting good at life, to getting good at this thing we call reality. Because if we\’re not obsessed, if we\’re not all in, if we\’re not again caring about the subject matter that we need to create results then we\’re just going to be half-assing our reality. We\’re just going to be going, we\’re just going to tip toe rather than actually dive head first into the water. So we\’ve got to be obsessed. We have to be so totally committed to mastering our craft and being passionate. I can\’t stress how important this is. And another thing is clarity. We got to be so clear on what we\’re wanting to create. Because there\’s so many people that tell me and they say I don\’t know what I want. I don\’t know what\’s important. I\’ve got a conflict, I don\’t know if I should do that, do that, or I should do that. Well if we\’re lacking clarity it\’s simply a disconnect with what\’s important. What do we actually want and then what\’s important. So the way around that is we\’ve got to ask questions like well what\’s truly important to us. What do we truly want. What is our heart telling us that we actually want to create in this life. And for certain people it doesn\’t necessarily come naturally. Because there could be so much noise, there can be so much ego, there could be so much internal chatter and so much internal dialogue and just negative conditioning and negative thought patterns. That the actual truth from our heart just gets clouded out. So if we\’re not connected to our spirit, if we\’re not connected to our true self then the answers you\’re going to come up with are going to be noisy, they\’re going to be viewed from the lens of the ego. So you\’ve got to become truly aware of well, what am I connecting to when I\’m coming up with the answer of what\’s important. Are we focusing on something that\’s derived out of fear and resistance and ego or are we focused on something that\’s pure and truly what we want to correct. This goes for your relationships, this goes for your business, this goes for everything across every aspect of your life. So for anyone that says they don\’t know what they want they just need to ask those core questions. Well, first of all we need to connect. Connect with your true self. Be present and be aware. Make sure you\’re coming from a place of heart space. Then you need to ask yourself well, if I could create anything in my life, if I could create anything in my life what would I love to create? If I could wave a magic wand what would I create? That\’s the ultimate starting point. Like, if I could create anything what would I love to create. If I could be anything what would I love to be. If I could do anything what would I do. If I could have anything what would I have. And we\’re going to start from this perspective of unlimited potential, limitless. Like completely limitless perspective of I can create anything. And then again it comes back to self-belief. We need to cultivate a sense of self-belief. I can do this, we can do this. How do we know we can do this? Well, because other people have done it. How do we know that we can do it? Well because we live in this infinite possibility land that we call life. We can create anything that we want when we start to access and believing that possibility. So if we don\’t believe it we can\’t create it. So again it all comes back to beliefs. Our beliefs create our reality. And all of our beliefs are just lines of software code. In our computer programme. Every single belief is just a line of code. And it\’s all made up. Every single belief we have is just made up. So the only things that matters is the beliefs that we\’ve got. Are they actually supporting us and helping us get the outcome. Because if they\’re not then we need to change them. We need to go through every single line of belief code that we have and transform every single belief that we\’ve got. That\’s how you create different results. This is how you hack your reality. So this is so important is to understand what are reality and beliefs. What are our fears. Those aspects within us that are limiting us and holding us back and preventing us from playing a bigger game. Another really important aspect of what holds people back is people caring about the opinions of others. Far too many people care about the opinion of someone else. So people are worried about criticism. People are worried about rejection, people are worried about what\’s someone else going to think of me. People are worried about the clothes that they\’re wearing. Thinking people are going to say something about them. Well, we\’re going to learn to not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks of us. Do not give a fuck what anyone else thinks of it. Now there\’s a key distinction here. We can evaluate what someone else is thinking about us. Hey, Bella, good to see you here. We can evaluate what someone else is saying in terms of its accuracy in terms of logic, knowledge, skill, awareness. However it\’s nothing to do with our worthiness. So we can say right, well someone\’s given me some data, someone\’s given me some information. Hey, Matt, good to see you here, mate, hola. We\’ve got to check in and say right, I\’m getting some data I\’m getting an opinion from someone. First of all is it accurate. Who are you and what have you done. And then assess that information just based on information. We\’re getting information about ourselves. So we got to categorise it and say well the information that I\’m getting from someone, they might be rejecting us, they might be criticising us, they might be giving you some feedback. That fits into just analysing data. Is that data telling me, giving me information about my skill, my knowledge or an experience. That\’s all we\’re doing. Separate to this is the whole category of worthiness. Is do I want to take that on emotionally. Do I want to make that mean anything about my personality. Do I want to make that mean anything about my worthiness which is ultimately our ability or the grounds in which we choose to love ourself. So yes, this comes back to self-worth. This does come back to self-love. Because if we are outsourcing how we\’re feeling about ourself to the opinion of someone else, whether they criticise us, if they say something about us. If someone likes us then what it\’s doing is we\’re ultimately saying well if you like me, then I like me. If you say something nice to me then I\’m going to feel good. If you smile at me, I\’ll smile. Well what we\’ve got to say is we\’ve got to say well no. I don\’t give a fuck what you\’ve got to say. You can give me the information and I will assess the information for its accuracy and its validity and compare it based on my ability to analyse and process and compare information. But it has nothing to do with my worthiness. Nothing to do with my ability to love myself. And I am enough, I am good enough. And the information that you\’re presenting me with is just information. It\’s just data. So we\’ve got to stand guard at the door of our mind and recognise people are going to have opinions. People are going to say stuff. There is going to be rejection. There\’s going to be all sorts of stuff that\’s going to be information from the outside world. And we got to hack our reality completely by recognising well that\’s just data. It\’s someone else\’s opinion. It\’s a conscious thought that someone else is having in their mind and it\’s got nothing to do with my mind. So how am I reacting to that. How am I choosing to take on some shit that\’s got nothing to do with me. So we got to recognise what radio station we\’re tuning into here. Are we tuning into taking on the opinions and beliefs and everything of everyone else or are we tuning into our own authentic spark. Our own natural vibrational frequency about what or how are we showing up in our life. And who are we. Not concerned and caring about the opinion of others. So the distinction here is we can evaluate the opinion of someone else but not buy into it. So we evaluate it but we don\’t care about it. So when I say we don\’t give a fuck about what anyone else says, it\’s exactly that. We evaluate it we don\’t necessarily care about it. We don\’t care about it from the point of view well I\’m not relying on that to validate my worthiness. I\’m not relying on that to validate who and what I am. It\’s simply just information that I\’m now going, just look at, see if there\’s any accuracy there, see if there\’s any merit to it. And if there is I can take on some feedback around my skill, my knowledge and my experience only. Nothing to do with my worthiness. So this is a really powerful point. Because all of fear is created out of buying into what other people think. Buying into this external movie that\’s playing and making it mean something. And we all know that life has no meaning except the meaning we give it. Every moment of every day we are just observing this external movie playing and then what we\’re doing is we\’re creating an internal movie. So we\’re going to be aware of well there\’s an external movie and there\’s an internal movie. Which is our internal reality. And our internal reality is just a construction. It\’s just a projection. We are projecting our own internal reality based on what\’s happening in the external. But we got to recognise well am I reacting or am I responding. Am I consciously choosing what my reality means or am I relying on my default conditioning or my ego to let me know what\’s unfolding. And what\’s actually occurring in this reality. So I trust you guys get that this is where ultimate empowerment lies. Is when we can stand on our authority and say well thank you for your opinion. I\’m going to evaluate it only based on technical information. And basically compare it based on you might be giving some feedback on my skill, my knowledge, my experience. And maybe that is illuminating a gap within me in terms of one of those factors. That has nothing to do with my worthiness. I am enough, I am good enough, I am going to always continue to love myself and I have ultimate self-worth regardless of what you do or say. So this is a key powerful principle that will empower you beyond your wildest imagination. And it\’s a skill, it\’s cultivating the skill and the habit of recognising not to buy into anything in the external environment. Any comments, any feedback, any criticism to make it mean anything about our worthiness. So there\’s two factors. There\’s our skill and knowledge and experience, and then there is our worthiness. Worthiness, that\’s unconditional. We can choose to feel worthy regardless of whatever is happening in our external environment. Whatever our skill or knowledge or ability is. That\’s irrelevant. And to be honest there\’s always going to be a gap. There\’s always going to be a gap in your skill, your knowledge and your ability. There\’s always going to be a gap there. Doesn\’t matter, even if you\’re the best in the world at what you do. Even if you are the best of the best, there\’s always going to be a gap because there\’s always another level. We live in a reality where you can always get better. There\’s always another level. So if you\’re wanting to close the gap and all of a sudden once the gap\’s been closed then choose to feel worthy, then there\’s this infinite loop that will never be fulfilled. Because what it\’s saying is well, one day when I\’m perfect then I\’ll feel good enough. One day when I\’ve satisfied all those external criteria and I\’ve got the perfect combination lock of life and all the, I\’ve got the money, I\’ve got the relationship, I\’ve got the health, I\’ve got all these factors that are now perfectly lined up, now I choose to feel good enough. Now I choose to feel worthy. Well if we\’re relying on that then what we\’re doing is we\’re artificially validating and artificially propping up our worthiness based on external factors. Now as soon as one of those external factors goes, like as soon as someone goes bankrupt or as soon as a relationship ends, or as soon as something\’s out of kilter, the rug gets pulled out from under you and all of your sense of worthiness and your sense of fulfilment just completely goes down the goggle. It just completely disappears. Hey, Andrew good to see you in here brother. So we need to recognise if we are relying on external sources to validate our worthiness, to validate our sense of self esteem, and validate our choice to love ourself that\’s fucked. That really is fucked. Because it\’s outsourcing all of our power to circumstances. As opposed to having the belief, the unshakable belief. We need to approach life standing in our authority. Feeling worthy regardless of whatever the fuck is happening in this life. And choosing to love ourself to the maximum degree possibly can regardless of whatever\’s happening. So this is going to be powerful. Now the last aspect I want to touch on is we\’ve got to ask for help. In life, no one in life has everything figured out. Everyone has got gaps. And this is just a fact of life. Everyone is going to have gaps. Including myself, including Tony Robinson, including every single person in the world has got gaps. And everyone needs help to close their gaps. So one of the most powerful attributes, one of the most empowering decisions you can make is to ask for help. It\’s to say hey, right now I need help. Yes, it requires sometimes it requires courage. Sometimes it requires manning up and saying hey I need help. And that\’s empowerment because when you ask for help you watch there\’ll be hundreds if not thousands of people that will actually come to your aid when you actually ask for help. Because humans are hardwired to serve. The human condition is hardwired to contribute, to make a difference, to actually help and serve a fellow human being. So there\’s so much more support that exists in this reality than we actually pay credit for. So recognise that when you ask for help whether it be from a coach, a mentor, a friend, someone. Ask for help, the help will come. People will give, people will serve, people will contribute because it\’s a good thing to do. So you never have to face anything alone. Every single problem that you can ever experience has already been solved by someone. Because human beings have been alive for such an incredibly long period of time now, we\’ve kind of figured this thing out called life. And you can solve every single problem. Every single problem has a solution. So we can start to recognise well okay, we can model success, we can surround ourselves with other people that have already walked the path. And there is a solution to every single one of our problems if we just ask for help. And it\’s about asking the right people. It\’s about asking the people that have already walked the path. People that have already done the do. So asking for help is so powerful. And success leaves clues. As cliche as it is, it does. If you wanted to replicate success, if you\’re wanting to get successful results in a particular area then find someone who\’s already gotten results and just ask them what they did. You don\’t have to reinvent the wheel. You don\’t have to go through and figure it out all on your own. You don\’t have to do all that\’s kind of stupid. It\’s the definition of insanity is to kind of have to go and figure it out and reinvent the wheel. So ask for help and yes, sometimes it requires courage. Yes, it requires putting your ego to the side. And when you ask for help you\’ll find that there\’s people out there that are actually really willing and caring and actually want to make a difference. So whenever you need help in life, whatever the gap is \’cause everyone has got a gap, when you ask for help watch as the support and the wisdom, the collective wisdom and intelligence from everyone in your environment comes in. So I\’m going to keep this one super short for this evening guys. There were the main principles, there were the most powerful aspects that I think and when an entrepreneur or a business person or just anyone in life embodies these aspects our success just radically accelerates and goes to a whole new level. Because when our operating from the guiding principles that are moving the needle the most. These are the principles that are really creating the most powerful degree of consciousness. So I\’m just going to run through these again. Just to sort of round this out. The first one was discipline. We got to remember that the key to freedom is coming from a place of discipline and creating structure. We\’ve got to care so much about our life that we\’re willing to do whatever it takes to create the results that we want. We\’ve got to integrate and we\’ve got to instal the highest level of self-belief possible. Because when we have that self-belief we have an unshakable faith and just a sense of knowing that we\’re on the right path. We\’ve got to be obsessed. We have to be massively obsessed with mastering our craft. Obsessed with life, obsessed with learning, obsessed with being the best we can be. Not from a place of ego but being the best that we can possibly be from the place of I want to create results, I want to create a contribution, I want to live my best life ever. So we have to be obsessed about the things that matter. Now I\’ve often said that failure in life is not knowing what\’s important. Success in life is knowing what\’s important and doing something about it. So we need to know what\’s important. We\’ve got to be very, very acutely aware of what\’s important for us. Because to spend your life focusing on the unimportant, I don\’t think that\’d be a very satisfying life. There\’s so many people in life that have just focused on the unimportant. You know they\’re having conversations that don\’t matter. And there\’s no judgement there. But it\’s like if you spend your life having conversations that don\’t matter, if you spend your life focusing on things that just don\’t matter, what sort of life is that? So we got to check in and make sure we\’re actually focusing on the important. Now the last aspects are we got to not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. Alright, including me. If I was to criticise you, you\’ve just got to say fuck you, Chris, I\’m not going to listen to what you say about my worthiness. This goes for everyone. When someone gives us criticism it means nothing about our worthiness. It means nothing about us at our core. It\’s simply a commentary on information about our knowledge, our skill and experience. That\’s the only three factors that we\’re getting information on. Do we have enough knowledge, do we have enough skill and do we have enough or have the sufficient level of experience. Hey Diddy, hey John, good to see you here brother. So this is the thing is whenever you\’re getting criticism whenever someone\’s giving you his opinion we\’re only evaluating it from data. From accuracy of data around those three factors. Nothing to do with worthiness. Nothing to do with do I feel good about myself. \’Cause otherwise if we\’re outsourcing our sense of worthiness to someone else it\’s like saying well if you like me, then I like me. If you agree with me, then I feel good. If you smile at me then I\’ll smile back at you. \’Kay, it just doesn\’t work. We just need to stand guard at the door of our mind and not give a fuck what anyone else says about us. Not care about us. We can evaluate it but not care about it. So that\’s the distinction. Evaluate it for accuracy of information. Don\’t care about it in terms of don\’t care about buying into I will feel worthy if what you\’ve got to say agrees with my model of the world. Last aspect is ask for help. Everyone\’s got gaps, everyone has an attribute of their life where they can improve. And there\’s so many people out there that are wanting to help that can help. And all we need was to just put the ego down, have some courage and put a hand up and say hey can you please give me a hand. And you just watch people come out of nowhere will help you because we are hardwired to serve. I trust that adds value to you guys tonight. And as I said these are some of the most powerful principles that when you embody these, when you integrate these, life goes to a whole other level. Because we\’re transforming our software. We\’ve upgraded our hardware. We\’re literally operating from a perspective that\’s so incredibly empowering that we are the most authentic expression of our spirit. And we are empowered to go and live the most incredible life ever that\’s in alignment with who we are. As opposed to taking on the shit, taking on the opinions and taking on the fears of other people. I trust that serves guys. As always lots of love, thanks for joining in guys. Thanks John, thanks Diddy, good to see you guys here. Thanks, Andrew good to see you here, man. As always I trust you guys had a great Transformation Tuesday. I\’ll see you guys. Actually I won\’t see you guys again next Tuesday \’cause I\’m going to over in America. I\’m going to Burning Man. Thanks Marianna good to see you here. I\’m going to Burning Man so I\’m off on an adventure to Nevada in the US of A. And I\’m going to report back to you guys some incredible learning and some experiences that I have over there. So as always guys lots of love, thanks for tuning in. And I shall see you guys again soon when I get back from America. See you guys, bye for now.

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